Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again Things my heart still needs to know... (#47)

NYC and Chicago in June...There are worst places to be....especially since you like to shop!!!! I also think that it is positive that he wants you along and find your reaction a little....I am searching for the politically correct word here...
Anyhow K, like I said before every situation is different and you have some feelings inside of you that need to be resolved if this reconcilliation is going to work....you are not there yet and maybe it is a blessing in disguise that your sitch is moving along at a snails pace. That MC will help you both I am sure. Don't rush things....
I for one would be very happy to receive such an invitation...from a friend....or a family member...but only you know what your heart is saying. As always Maria, I am pulling for you to find happiness.
Have a great time with your lovely friends this weekend....have a couple of drinks and relax.

Un abbracio con un baccio piccolissimo!

Just got back, it's 5 in the morning here. Short version; H came and joined me and my 3 girlfriends where we were at a live music place. We had fun and he was sweet and caring. He hugged me when he came in and when he left. H also kissed me on my cheeks and face twice. He was smiling and having fun.

Before joining us, after a long heated discussion on the phone, he said his problem is he is... stuck. Confused, dazed, lost. He said he has no idea how to approach me what to do. I will explain more tomorrow. Good thing is we communicated better and it worked..

I am going to bed, my troat hurts.

Love
K

{{{{{K, Hon}}}}}

I am all smiles and sending up prayers of love and thanksgiving for the two of you. It will get better, slowly and surely, it will get better.

SMW

"Before joining us, after a long heated discussion on the phone, he said his problem is he is... stuck. Confused, dazed, lost. He said he has no idea how to approach me what to do."

I could have sworn I wrote that down somewhere. I do forget some times.

"Good thing is we communicated better and it worked.."

Imagine that.

"I will explain more tomorrow."

Sitting on the edge of my chair.

"We had fun and he was sweet and caring. He hugged me when he came in and when he left. H also kissed me on my cheeks and face twice. He was smiling and having fun."

He still is just not quite "there" yet is he?

Sleep well sunshine. I'll look forward to hearing what else transpired. Did you invite him to come and meet you all or did he find out where you were and just show up?

;-)

Sounds like a pretty fun interaction!

Glad he joined you.

So glad he is making the effort!

And glad the communication was better.

((((((Kalni)))))))

Hi, Kalni,
I don't think I've posted to you before (I normally hang out strictly in the MLC forum), and I know you've progressed a lot farther along the R path here than I have, but I thought I might have a little bit of insight to offer you.

You posted something a few days ago along the lines of "I asked him, 'Why don't you plan for more time for us to spend together?'" I think you will get better results if, instead of saying things like, "Why didn't you _____?" (criticizing, blaming), you say, "I would like it if we could have a date night once a week," or whatever it is that you WANT. And be specific. "More time together" is too general--he doesn't know if that means you want to see him for an hour every day, or spend every Saturday together all day--and do you want it to be with the kids or just as a couple? Do you want him to wine and dine you, or is talking more important? I don't mean that you have to spell out EVERY detail--give the guy a little latitude!--but ask for what you WANT, and explain what that means to you.

The corollary is that I get the impression that you are not 100% sure right now exactly WHAT you want from him...so if that is true, you need to figure that out, and in the meantime, explain what you are and aren't sure of.

I hope that helps you a bit! If it does, great! If not, feel free to ignore. I will check back--I want to see your sitch blossom into a success story!

Peace and blessings,
Dawn

Hey K,

Last night sounds good! Its sweet that he came to meet you with your friends and was happy to do that. Is that the first 'public' outing with him? Its also great that you had another chat abut things and some honesty, that he doesnt know how to fix things perhaps, how to behave.

Hope you're having a good Saturday (is taht a day you spend with him??)
Love Al xxx