Unfortunately, I see her today, so know she will ask, especially as we have to get back to mediators to say if we want next session by this Friday. I'm just not sure what to tell her ???
I agree, men are double fooked in all of this and it's wrong, plain wrong. Women have thought for equal opportunities for years, well, not to bothered when it comes to being fair in D and they don't say much about that. (apologies to the good women on this board but I hope even you can understand both my frustration today and how in general us men get stitched up in D).
I don't know either what to tell her. I would try and avoid the subject till you can get some advice from someone who has been there. I just don't have any experience in this matter.
I dont know what the divorce rate is in the UK, but like here, there needs to be some incentive so as to make both spouses harder to preserve a marriage. Getting a nice monetary reward for infidelity or just quitting a marriage seems so wrong. And Arthur, it has to feel a bit like a punishment to you.
Do you think maybe that you could do better with a different solicitor?
Mike - I have to pay alimony (Maintenance) here, but it's the fact my W does not work, is officially depressed and unable to work and we have a mortgage which she cannot take on as not working. Therefore, I have to choice (I think) of forcing the house to be sold and my kids could end up anywhere.
KK - I have just said exactly that to a friend. I think I will contact one and go check as it seems to me, my current solicitor is either spot on and can see that I'm just in the chit, or is not trying hard enough. Definately think that is in my interests.
Mike - I have to pay alimony (Maintenance) here, but it's the fact my W does not work, is officially depressed and unable to work and we have a mortgage which she cannot take on as not working. Therefore, I have to choice (I think) of forcing the house to be sold and my kids could end up anywhere.
KK - I have just said exactly that to a friend. I think I will contact one and go check as it seems to me, my current solicitor is either spot on and can see that I'm just in the chit, or is not trying hard enough. Definately think that is in my interests.
personally I think you have no chaoice but force the sale of the house. and I find it odd that you would have to pay maintenance, especailly since you do have proof she has been adulterous..correct?? and i would seek more advice from a different L..just for peace of mind.
M - I would of thought we sell the house, but then, as she is not working, she would end up in some rough area with my boys.
also, Adultery counts for nothing in the eyes of the law.
Have texted a solicitor friend (criminal Law) and he is going to get back to me with someone else.
I've got over the initial shock of what I was told and decided it just cannot be right. So definately getting second opinion. I know us men get chafted but this is ridiculous
GFI - Sort of, but we've done it at mediation also. I've also done a CSA calc, but it's her not budging that is the problem and what she is demanding. If it went to court and she got anywhere near what she is asking for, I'm shafted. Also, you gotta remember I'm looking out for the kids, then me, she is only looking out for herself as by doing so the kids will get an ok deal.
She is picking me up in 5 so gotta say waiting on solicitor and say I'll contact mediators for a further week
Sorry to hear about this turn of events Arthur. I hate to say that things are going pretty smoothly with my D, but i am always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for her to drop some bomb on me.
Married 6 years D4 D4 S2 seperated: 7/15/08 Dbomb: 9/21/08 status: seperated in same home, meeting with mediator moving toward D current thread
Arthur--Just catching up. I think another sols opinion would not hurt. It is frustrating that adultery doesn't count for anything. Thanks for the support and advice on my thread. I've been scarce the last five days. Too busy with work. Came in early to catch up on everyone else.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
