A good friend of ours told me about your situation today, and I came over here with coffee and a bat. I mean a hug.
Quote:
As much as I can I'll try to keep kids with me, it makes me sick to think of them around those two. She does cook for them and fixed s5's hair, for the time being looks like she is ok around them, it's just the lack of values and shame that make me not want have kids around them. There are worse things, I know, at least he did take kids out when he had them, so I'll try to look at things in the best positive light I can.
Oh it is this same story, that is going to make me lose it on these half assed men and someone thin will play me in the lifetime movie.
You have a wonderful faith. Pray that your babies are guided to know the difference between right and wrong. Pray that God guides your tongue in speaking with them. Let your anger out here, as you do. Shoot you know the drill. It has been long enough.
You are a wonder with your babies, and it is so very hard to see what we thought would always be instilled by both parents, become a shamble on their part.
I Know you would never bash your X in front of your children. You are full of class while he is full of well, you know.
Detaching is again in order mi amor.
Detaching in itself is super easy when it comes to detaching from them, well in my case it is.
It is detaching from the pain they cause our children, and the disruption they cause, that is the hard one.
I am sorry just for all of it.
Back to Zumba, back to shaking your rump like it's no one's business, and back to shaking him and all of his antics right back out of your life.
You are in my prayers mami, you and those babies.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
I think she blames herself more. But that doesn't erase that she did walk out of the marriage and got the D ball rolling that destroyed her kids. And I've seen her do some really negative things (like sleep with every guy in town!). Things to hurt herself and her kids as well. She introduces guys to the kids. And a few years ago her youngest who was around 8 was calling the guys her "Mom's boy toys." Nice role modeling. That kid will grow up having healthy relationships... right....
On the positive side.... she doesn't blame her XH or talk bad about him. Also, she really does want a decent relationship with him for the kid's sake.
Oh... one more positive. She's no longer sleeping with every guy in town... progress!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
A good friend of ours told me about your situation today, and I came over here with coffee and a bat. I mean a hug.
Quote:
As much as I can I'll try to keep kids with me, it makes me sick to think of them around those two. She does cook for them and fixed s5's hair, for the time being looks like she is ok around them, it's just the lack of values and shame that make me not want have kids around them. There are worse things, I know, at least he did take kids out when he had them, so I'll try to look at things in the best positive light I can.
Oh it is this same story, that is going to make me lose it on these half assed men and someone thin will play me in the lifetime movie.
You have a wonderful faith. Pray that your babies are guided to know the difference between right and wrong. Pray that God guides your tongue in speaking with them. Let your anger out here, as you do. Shoot you know the drill. It has been long enough.
You are a wonder with your babies, and it is so very hard to see what we thought would always be instilled by both parents, become a shamble on their part.
I Know you would never bash your X in front of your children. You are full of class while he is full of well, you know.
Detaching is again in order mi amor.
Detaching in itself is super easy when it comes to detaching from them, well in my case it is.
It is detaching from the pain they cause our children, and the disruption they cause, that is the hard one.
I am sorry just for all of it.
Back to Zumba, back to shaking your rump like it's no one's business, and back to shaking him and all of his antics right back out of your life.
You are in my prayers mami, you and those babies.
Lissie, I don't mean to hijack, but how are things with Javier and his employment situation? I was thinking about it the other day.
cat, keeping it in prayer for you. Cover and bathe your kiddies in prayer and though X's actions hurt them, God will soothe the hurt over time. He will be their ultimate comforter.
Help them to rely on God's word, especially the Psalms for they will find comfort there.
I love Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
Fighting the forclosure of my home, I am blessed to have angels in my life that have stepped in, and helped me with that.
I use the court ordered money he gives me for the house, but that has stopped since Sept.
He told me not to rely on him, for me to get another job and for me to take care of it.
In the mean time, I told him he could come see the kids every day and pick them up from school so that my 80 year old dad can have a break, and he could see the kids, the kids would love that. He could start homework with them, get to know their routine.
He said nothing
i said well do you wanna take over our sons Basketball stuff. you can take him to practices volunteer coach, he replied
I can go to a a few of the games.
Soooo that is that. He seems fine and as happy as ever.
I am looking for that 2nd job, and getting a better first job, which kills me b/c I have been at my current place for over 10 years. It is complicated why I can't advance here. But all in all. I will do what ever it takes, to get my children and I in a better situation without his court appointed help.
Child support services knows he is unemployed and keep tabs with me.
All I can do, Thanks for asking lovey. Hope all is wonderful wth you and those babies. HUGS. Have wonderful holidays!
Lissett
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
lissy)))))))))))))))))) I was thinking of your babies as I pondered my stich, I now know how hard it is to be in that sitch hon, honestly, I didnt' really have a clue. It was zumba day, lifts my spirits every time, and it came to me "why am I brooding yet again when this donkey is not spending one second thinking of me and is having a good time?" no, my time is more valuable than that. I have my kids more days than he does thank heavens. Yes, detachment is in order here.
C2H, thanks for those words, as I thought of my kids and the example stbx gives them I thought of that verse that says to watch out what you do to these little ones as their angels are ones who can look at the face of God. He isn't a well man and the less I think/deal with his issues the best, from now it will all business (children business) and nothing else, even if/after this new distracting/exciting R dies out, I dont' care if it does/doesnt. His ADHD brain is on overload now with the novelty and the newness, so it's useless to expect him to think of others, I wont' have any more of those talks again, I know now where he stands and I will just take care of my kids. I bought s10 a tracphone so I dont' even have to talk to him to talk to kids, I'm tired of the many times I call and call and he doesnt' pick up and when he does he's all disgusted when he answers, as if I'm calling to bother him or something.
S10 keeps saying "the people dad dates!" in amazement. I have lots to learn about what not say, I wish he wouldnt' tell me where they go and what they do, but I also dont' want him to feel like he can't talk to me. D5 isn't too keen, hasnt' complained, but when we mentioned Thanksgiving she said "i'm NOT drawing a pict of a turkey for them!", I reminded her that her grandma and aunt will be there and *then* she said "oh! ok, then I'll draw a pict for grandma and aunt Xxx. That's going to be another akward sitch, both of them are disgusted with stbx and before they knew of gf they agreed to eat at his home. It's their choice and I'll just have to understand if they agree to go while she is there, that's pretty much all the family, MIL, sil (married with no kids) and stbx, no other extended family.
I'm so blessed with so many friends and huge family, and to top it all my online buddies
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Sorry dear Liss that you have to deal with so much! and her I am whining with not even half your problems, will pray hard for you mi amor, you are an awesome woman and I know God will bless you above and beyond your necesities.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
