Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy 2008 = Crazy Year (Seriously? 17?)

Interesting question. You're certainly under no obligation to initiate a conversation about it. I think if it were something as serious and significant as you filed for divorce, say, and she'd been served, then you should try to get her to talk about it after a day or two. But I see this as merely you doing the right thing.

Personally, I think I'd let her stew.

Puppy

I'm kind of torn Lost. Part of me agrees with Puppy. But there's another part of me that thinks it would be good to have the blowup and then leave town for a bit and let her deal with it without you around to blame. Let her stew on that!

Don't know what's the right answer and I'm not sure it matters either way much.

Maybe the question is, which way do you think would be more fun?

I'm terrible...I wouldn't be able to sit on it....I'd wanna know what she is thinking, what OM said to her, what happened, etc. I'd be the one stewing.

Ahhh, ya gotta defer gratification, WDID!

lol puppy. Lis, have you talked to OMW again yet? You could get the details from her.

(((wdid)))

I have not spoken to OMW again as of yet. Left it with her to contact me if she wished to talk more. Don't want to seem too pushy / invasive. She has what she wanted - the truth.

How's this for whacked out...??? W asked me (with S13 in the room) about Hawaii at Christmas. Well, 9 days ago, it was off (me saying to pull the pin). Now she is aksing about it again???? With the cr@p that is going on? How fair is that to the other family? H3ll, how fair is that to our K's? or ???? Not sure which!

I think the waiting is more fun. Watching her be squeamish - not knowing when I might spill things to the K's... Hey, I get 6 days alone with S13 - if we do not talk, think of that. I may drop little hints (game playing I know) but all is fair in love and war - right?

CAREFUL, Lost -- she's probably looking to make YOU out to be the bad guy here, by making you blow up the trip in front of your son. Don't bite -- discuss it in private.

Puppy

My bet is that as your leaving for your trip becomes imminent, she'll try to pick a fight with you to do a temperature-check on where your head is at! If you want to play it the way you've suggested here, just say "I'm not prepared to talk about this right now. I think we both have some decisions we need to make while I'm gone. We'll discuss it when I get back."

Adding the " ... while I'm gone" puts some pressure on her to poop or get off the pot emotionally while you're away, and -- if nothing else -- will spoil her fantasy fun while you're gone!

Puppy

Puppy,
I think you are right. I simply went to the file and gave her the itinerary that was prepared. Nothing more said.

I do think I have to start planting the seed in the K's minds that the trip may not happen given what is going on...