Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Where there is sadness, joy

Thanks (((Jeff))) and (((Mishka)))

I have no idea what brought it on. The last two days have been weepy, but today in particular. I guess you just need to have a meltdown every once in a while.

And I guess they will get less frequent. It is still hard, though, because I don't think I will ever love anyone like I do my H. And I am okay with that, because I wouldn't want anyone to take his place. But I am torn between moving on, and hanging in there a little longer. And this has been a struggle for the last few weeks. I want so badly to let go, and just move on. But there is something in me that won't let me, not yet. Maybe someday that will be different. But for now, I am not done, and it drives me nuts.

And I don't know which is worse, going dark or talking to him every day.

(((((((Lola)))))))

Move forward, don't move "on".

Take care of you, live for you. (And munchkin, of course!)

If you are still torn, wait.

Thanks Jeff. I like the way that sounds...

(((Lola)))

I like Jeff's observation, it makes a lot of sense. Thinking of you.
Jx

Thanks (((Julia))).

I like it too.

((((((Lola))))))

I still have days like that even now.

Much less often, but still, every once in a while. Especially if I'm PMSing LOL.

It gets easier from where you are. And I'm sure it gets even easier from where I am.

Cry it out if it helps.

There's nothing to be lost by being still for a while.

I could have written this myself Lola. My T told me last week that I'm not the same person I was last year. That is a good thing. I can tell from your post that you have improved too. I know what our H's are doing to us sucks, but we will emerge stronger.

(((Red))) I have missed you Girlie...how have you been???? Since getting my own office I don't get much time on the boards these days and sometimes it really sucks.

I think we all have to go through this period of making ourselves better people. We look at our flaws, and realize that although we are not perfect, there are areas where we can improve.

For me, one of the biggest things I have realized is that there have been times in my life when I have said things, done things, without realizing the consequences of my actions, or how I hurt someone else. I think part of that wisdom came with age, but it also came when I realized that it had been done to me. And I believe that sometimes I just did not think past my own needs to see the needs of others.

But what I take from this is that sometimes you have to put others first. For me, realizing that as much as I hurt, my H is also hurting now too, and he needs to deal with it on his own. Whether or not we come out of this together is not up to me. I will be here. I am not giving up. But I also know that this battle is his, and there is nothing I can do. He has to fight it.

BTW, I am about to be a grandma again!!! D23 starting having some back labor today, and although it is intermittent, I suspect that Baby will be here soon!

My birthday is on Thursday, so I am looking at getting a early present!!!

On FB says tomorrow is your birthday... Oh well, early wishes cant be bad...

You are doing great and these moments of grieving etc are part of the process. Dont try to fight them. Just embrace them be honest to yourself and move on/forward (whichever you want).

Grandma? Again? My kids will not have their new teeth when I get 40 (in 2,5 years)... God I had them old...!!! Good for you! Life does go on after all...
Love
K

Actually it is Tuesday, lol, can't even keep track of my dates!!!!!