When the (expletive) does the (expletive + en) WAS do some (expletive + en) WORK?
John not quite sure what you mean, so don't wrap it up in nice,ities!!
I don't always understand Forrest, and I have been around forever And (quick Figgy here) I speak perfect English. I do know he has his heart in the right place tho.
My post above was not at all directed at Forrest who I know has his heart in the right place. Anybody who hangs out here and tries to help others will always have my respect and admiration. I just blew a fuse on this work thing....in general both spouses share responsibility for the state of their relationship. However, 9 times out of 10, the WAS screws up LARGE and the LBS has to do ALL the work while WAS are in lala land. If they want to come back...let them DO WORK. After all the crap they put us through, it is the least they can do. i wish i would have taken this approach a few months ago. At worst i would have been exactly at the same place....maybe sooner. Sorry for the hijack again....this is all part of the therapy that Gypsy suggested I start (ie. get mad) this morning. It`s easier to get mad at somebody else`s spouse than your own.....I need to direct some of this new found emotion to my own sitch.
oh and since i see you are grappling with some measure of fear. I will pray that the Lord comforts you in that fearful place and brings you understanding. He will warm you w/ His infinite love.
Thanks guys, for prayers (Tomato) and for stopping by for support. K
John, I wish I could get mad too. Feel free to get mad at my axH all you want.... naej, good to see you, how did the birthday cakes come out? Cory, I am struggling with patience again. Putting myself out there? Well, sure, only if I dont protect myself, nobody else will.
Build a new M..that's the key. Forget the past, have a beginners mind..a new start.
John..this is not in defense of FG but I was like you when I first came into newbies..FG was the 1st to post to me..and to be honest I thought WTF because I had NFC. If you really know Cory then you will "get" him. If you read enough of him then you will "get" him.
He will open eyes!!
His "do work" is right along DB lines..doing work is about us the LBS..it's not about the WAS..IMO anyway..
I've found that certain people, who have different writing styles, take me longer to "get" than some others..as an example FG..it took me a while but I get him..Gypsy...sometimes I get it right and sometimes I don't..they both work with me to make sure I get what they are saying..it's all good..
and John..I also have the same (expletive) moments you have..we all do..
I know it`s all good....one last time that was NOT a knock on FG. I understand the work on yourself thing.....I would just like to read (once in a while) that the WAS does work. Kalni`s sitch is the closest to that that I have come across. Something set me off this AM. when I read that. Maybe it had something to do with the frustration I felt with what I perceived as my W not doing any work when we were piecing. It was just a comment on my part and again had nothing to do at all with Cory`s post....just the Do Work portion of it.
When the (expletive) does the (expletive + en) WAS do some (expletive + en) WORK?
John,
I used to bleet on with this question when I first came over to piecing (still do in my head sometimes). My take on this is that it is when they give up the OP, and even then it is sometime after that when they start to get their heads straight that they can focus on the M. If another OP crops up while they are in this confused stated then you are well and truly [censored !!] .
In your case John I don't think W ever got OM out of her system, so it was never gonna be easy for you. In my case I sensed something a couple of months ago when W was flitting in and out of doing work, but I think she has ridded enough of the past out of her system and we have enough to go on.
Chris Rock once said that a person is as only faithful as their options, if a WAS has options then they take them rather than doing the hard work. They always take the easy way out.
Piece be with you John
K,
Make H do work but don't set out too many hoops for him to jump through.
