Kathleen..I can see why you might be upset about the insurance thing but I don't really think that "by law" he has to carry you on his insurance after you are divorced. I know there are some type Cobra benefits but don't know what that is about really. I believe he has to carry the kids, but if he chooses not to carry them then he has to pay more child support.
There will be plenty of things that are not the same once the D is final. It's just the way of the D.
I fully intend to drop Kim from all my insurance the day the D is final..IF THAT MAKES ME A TURD then I'll wear the hat proudly..it's the law...it's the way it is
I am getting my W the Cobra forms once our D is final. For her, it was my health insurance that was a huge factor in her not wanting to be divorced from me. However, I am sure my employer does not want to be paying for her health insurance.
He has every right to delete me from the insurance. It was just how impersonal it seemed.. like crossing broccoli off the shopping list.
A friend of mine in HR says you can keep your ex-spouse on as long as you want.. It only changes when you inform HR you're divorced.
He is under no obligation to carry me. And I do have access to COBRA for 18 to 36 months from the final divorce whose premiums will be my responsibility.
My employer's insurance provider has tightened its policy regarding dependents -- they're intent on re-evaluating who can be claimed each year now, and the employee has to acert the claim annually. I don't think this is all too unusual now of days either. So I guess the whole economic system is also trying to discourage former spouses from remaining claimants, other than as COBRA participants (which is a time-limited system as well.)
I have told my W that I will keep her on my insurance at least until the day her precious D becomes final. She is more than eligible for her own employer's insurance program, so she's not likely to show interest in a COBRA plan.
On a similar note, because she is a woman, having her on my auto insurance policy has actually lowered my overall premiums. But once she decided a year ago to split off from my policy to bear her own auto insurance (why, I'll never know) my own premiums, for just myself, have actually gone up.
I feel like W has "thrown me to the wolves" regarding our insurance coverage, so I don't know why I continue to carry her on my health insurance. But I've tried to not do anything out of spite. She might be doing so -- but I should not.
Gyp - I got your message and will call in a bit. Glad to hear that you got to visit with your S
About the insurance...if he is suggesting COBRA but could just as easily cover you on his plan, you might want to ask him to do so and pay him the difference/take it off of support WHILE COVERED. COBRA is often way more expensive than what an employee would pay.
For over a month the laptop hasn't connected wirelessly to the internet. Since spouse was a technogeekoid we had computers all over the place, so one not working wasn't an issue.
Hello.. happy dance time.. I got it to work.. even though I'd tried what I thought was the same thing in the past, I got it right. One more thing that had been spouse's complete domain became a problem I solved.
Quote: It was just how impersonal it seemed.. like crossing broccoli off the shopping list.
as far as I'm concerned it the business at hand..
It has to be business. Its the ONLY way I survived this mess. Only way.
You are doing fabulous!! It IS so freeing to let go, to rationally speak to your H. He is on the defense as well (I often forget this about my xH). In fact, xH can walk in a room, ready for a fight, because he thinks I'M ready for one. I can visibly see him 'un-ruffle' when I am smooth.
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One less straw of helplessness removed.
Yay! I started our first fall fire in the fireplace yesterday. Did it a lot last year, but still felt good, even after D6 said "Mom, Dad's fires are faster"
