Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy For the Guy with Kids and a WW Diciotto

I like the way Kat put it. Also, do your older kids know their grandpa? Do they need to be there? I'm so sorry, h4h. I'm sending prayers your family's way.

Sorry things have taken a bad turn with your FIL. You got a whole lot of support on here.




I agree with this. While catching up on your sitch I think you going dark is a good idea for your own mental health. As counter intuitive as it may seem. This is a whole different circumstance with your FIL then the normal day to day bs.

I am not sure I would go with I'm your husband and you need me. I would go more along the lines of respect for your relationship with you FIL and that you are there to support her any way you can. I would word it more of an option if she needs you are not, while not making it one, instead of telling her flat out she needs you. Just my opinion, maybe someone has a better one.

Take care.

She also needs to know that no matter what her relationship with her father is today (Him not supporting her affair etc) that she would not want to look back 10 years from now and regret not spending time with her father before he dies.

Thank you everyone. I just got a chance to get on and read up.

I just got off the phone with the wife. I hadn't heard from her, so I texted her about 40 minutes ago, how are things going. We hadn't talked since our convo last night. He is pretty alert, only able to say single words and hand gestures. His wife is acting very resentful of people, especially my wife. His wife is the one that wants to care for him. He is on a respirator. Not letting people in on her plans or if she is contacting the VA for his benefits. She just says she is taking care of it and she is not giving my wife any time alone with him. The uncle that I had spoken to had just arrived there. He is suggesting to move him to San Antonio where the Hospital would be better.

The wife sounds good. She stayed at the hospital. Sounds like she is going to take things day by day. We talked a little, made fun of his wife a little and laughed. I asked her where she is going to stay. She said that so far, she does not plan on leaving him. His wife sleeps on a cot and the wife stayed on a chair. I asked her if she wanted me to contact my brother for a hotel room. Employee discount at Marriott. She said no. I tell her to keep me informed. I tell her to take care of her dad. She tells me she will and for me to take care of her little ones and that she'll call them afterschool later.

Just a simple goodbye.

"Okay. Bye." I tell her.
"Bye."

Just got off the phone with the wife again. She called me to let me in on the drama. I guess I'm the one she feels comfortable talking to now.

Probably because I know the family or something.

She told that the sh*t is starting. His wife is being very secretive about things. Had a Wells Fargo banker stop by the room and had everyone leave. Wife tells me that she talked to her mom a little earlier. Apparantly, my wife finds out that, in no particular order,

*that her dad asked her mom for an annulment about 3 weeks ago.
*that her mom did not do it
*that her dad just married the lady about 2 weeks ago in the church
*that her mom told that her and her dad NEVER DIVORCED!

My wife ends up telling her dad that she doesn't want anything but to be there for him because she loves him. She doesn't want anything from him. She asks him in front of the wife if he signed everything over to his wife and he shook his head.

My wife lets his wife know that she doesn't want anything from her dad but that what she is doing is not right and sneeky. Her dads brothers and sisters now want my wife to be involved.

She starts to tell me that she only went there to be with him. She wasn't looking for anything. I tell her that if that is the case, then don't worry about what the wife is doing. Just make sure he is comfortable and at peace. I tell her that that is what is important. I also tell her to not let his family push her into anything that she doesn't want to get involved in. Just be there for him and thats it. I tell her that the way the wife is being, she'll pay for it later. I ask her why people have to be that way. I say again how his wife will end up paying for her actions.

She just takes it in.

Get this. I begin to tell her that I was considering going down there to pay my respects to him.

"I was thinking about going......" Click.

She lost signal. I had to call her back.

"Lost signal?"
"Yeah, stupid hospital. Well, I'll let you go. Just wanted to let you know what was going on."


I knew her family was F'ed up, but this takes things to a different level. Believe me, there's more that the wife doesn't even know about that MIL told me years ago.

And the story continues......

WOW....

Oh yeah. When she was reminding me why she went there, that she only went to be with him...

"I can't handle this....I just can't handle this stuff. I only came here to be with him."

Thats when I told her that she just needed to stay out of it and just be there for him, if that's what she wanted. Otherwise, getting involved meant attorney's and who knows what else.

That's all she needs is to be involved with someone else's drama. She's got her own drama that she needs to deal with.

Oh Boy....

H4H

MC nailed it... WOW.

I know you want to be there, and agree as far as FiL goes, but how do you feel about the other stuff? Can you stay on the sidelines enuf?

H4H, just got the chance to catch up on your thread. So sorry about your FIL. Sounds like you are doing all the right stuff to me. Whether you are there with W or not, it seems clear that you are being very supportive which is a good thing. ((((H4H))))