Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Moving her from Newbees

Well we had our discussion regarding our financial situation for 2009.

I asked her to prepare a strategy for managing our expences and seperating all our assets. She did a wonderful job of breaking down everything and it is very much in my favor. I am going to continue to live in the house until it sells.

The discussion was very friendly and productive. I think that all this will be over in the next 6mths. She is going to file as soon as she has gathered all the necessary information for completing the required paperwork.

We are communicating as well as when we were married and living together....although our interactions are getting more spaced out. We used to meet every week....now it's every two weeks. Still having very long tight hugs whenever we get together.

Is this normal for when couples seperate (to still get along great together.....or at least it seems that way to me)??

Hi Clayton, Good to hear that things went well.

Is this normal for when couples seperate (to still get along great together.....or at least it seems that way to me)??

My H & I don't meet very often - but for the most part are meetings are friendly, fun & joking. Sometimes I think it depends on who's leading & what you want the outcome to be. For me & my H, the subjects that we talk about are not really revealing any or much personal info. That is a safe boundary for him. Is it normal ....? I'm the wrong person to answer that ...

Have you thought about thanking her for dropping the rope with you & letting you go?? Is that a strategy or statement that might plant a seed of doubt in her head??

My H is going to try & reinstate our D papers. But as of last night ... he still is not sure he wants to D me.

Happy Limboland - stay strong!!

First Christmas by myself in my life. My family lives in my home country and STBX's totally ignored me.
Oh well.....that's life now, isn't it.

I had the realization this morning that my situation is not my fault. Uptil now I had been blaming myself for not being a better husband....but it finally clicked that this is not my fault. I was a good husband. It was quite a weight that was lifted as it dawned on me.

I feel like this morning has been a big step forward.

Hey Clayton!! Good too see you are posting! Yes, the holidays and really any day is what you make of it - right!?!

I think we all come to the realization that you did. No one is perfect & thus it cannot only be one persons fault. That was a big realization for me too. And realizing that everyone, everyone handles stress and problems differently.

Stay strong & keep learning

Finally 2008 is over. What a crappy year that I want to forget asap. 2009 isn't going to be that much better. There will be plenty of upheavals coming down the pipeline.

I didn't realize at the start of this just how long this process is going to take and the emotional toll. I'm pretty much over DBing for any other purpose other then to keep me sane at this point.

W still hasn't filed the D papers. I don't think I can move on with my life until the D has been finalized....so I might need to push her along a bit. She did contact a lawyer who wanted a 5K retainer to get the ball rolling. I havn't contacted one yet.

I went out for a couple of drinks this evening with one of our old friends who was divorced from her H about 2yrs ago after she caught him cheating. She is still in limbo 2yrs later. I don't want to still be in this mindset a couple of yrs down the track.

My 2009 newyears resolutions are:
1) Give warm fuzzies to everyone I meet.
2) Be selfish and do whats good for me.

Hi Clayton, Good to see you are still posting.

I seem to be going/thinking in the same direction that you are thinking of going with your W. Well, you are right "limbo" is just a mindset after D.

I like your 2009 Resolutions!

Hi Clayton, Good to see you are still posting.

I seem to be going/thinking in the same direction that you are thinking of going with your W. Well, you are right "limbo" is just a mindset after D.

I like your 2009 Resolutions!

Hi Clayton, Good to see you are still posting.

I seem to be going/thinking in the same direction that you are thinking of going with your W. Well, you are right "limbo" is just a mindset after D.

I like your 2009 Resolutions!

Hi MsMelancoly,
Thanks for you continued comments.

I often think I'm being too impatient with my W. I just want everything to happen NOW....and that's not the way life works.

This is an example of a typical e-mail I get from her. I asked her out for a quick drink to catch up. Her was her reply.

Happy Ney Year Clayton!
Hope you head didn't hurt too much the next day...
I would love to catch up for a drink. I don't know what you are up to Wednesday. I am leaving on Thursday to go out of town for the weekend so won't be available then.
Let me know...
Have a good day and we'll catch up soon I hope.
Love W

This is the typical verbage in our e-mails & when we're together, we get on very well.
I also think that it might be me that is pushing her to keep moving ahead with the D by my impatience at being at a standstill. If I could just back right away and let her find her way back to the path.

So we did go out for dinner and drinks. It was a fun evening, even got a quick kiss at the end.
She had gone ahead and framed 3 of the paintings I bought from my Nepal trip. Did all the matting herself.

Whenever I ask her out for any reason...she always say yes. If she is seeing OM (I have seen no evidence so far), I would guess he will be getting pissed off that she still meets up with me whenever I want.....and always offers to pay (she earns more then me).

Also, when I asked her to prepare a proposal for the seperation of all our financial assets, it was biased towards me. When all this is said and done, it looks like I will come out ahead of her. I just don't get it. I would have thought that she would have been out to get the most she could ...but that isn't whats happening.