Yikes! I asked for 2x4s but I didn't know they'd still have the nails in them--
For those who are keeping up, I already decided that I am not lawyering up, at this point it is NOT what I truly want and would only be posturing, posturing which could prematurely lead to divorce.
Also, my H has made it clear he is scared. So I am not in the mood to "push" him or "spook" him right now. I had my little meltdown, I am over it.
I am moving forward today, focusing on TODAY. Can't change yesterday, can't control tomorrow. Today I will do my best to be a good mom, friend, teacher, and yes, wife. I am giving my H space and taking care of me........
She's perfectly entitled to her feelings. Who argued she wasn't. But a) he doesn't care about her feelings; b) he isn't IN a marriage (I thought you'd know that by now, there is only one person "in" these marriages); c) she's the one that supposedly wants to save the marriage; d) she's using "then I'll get a lawyer" as a club to beat him into staying (think that's going to work?) I'm just saying, if I was the one conflicted about staying in the marriage or not, none of what she said would push me towards staying.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
My W's threats of lawyering up was one of the reasons I filed first. I wanted to have the upper hand. BobbiJo, be very careful to not make idle threats when you and Dan get into arguments. If you reach the point where you need to file, dont tell him first.
Love the new signature. Glad you are doing so well.
I will never again mention or go to a lawyer until I am absolutely positively sure I am ready, and then I will be going to actually file, not just talk.
Today is not that day. I am not thinking about that.
I don't want to beat a dead horse here, but....Whether he likes it or not, he is in a marriage. It is not so easy to get out of a marriage as to just decide you no longer want it. And he keeps saying that he hasn't even done that.
There are many on this site who advocate the muzzle technique for holding a marriage together. I am opposed to that. First, for the reason stated above, both parties have feelings with equal right to be heard. And secondly, because the LBS is already in pain, and muzzling that person will make it worse. Eventually, he or she is likely to explode in anger. And that is really bad for the vestige of a relationship. The key to marriage is communication. Unhappy people may not have great communication, but muzzling is not the solution.
Forget it. You have your opinion, I have mine. I think it would be great to communicate...if that's a possibility. But, for the record, it should be communication, not repeatedly nagging.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Bless you guys for lightening the mood! It IS a beautiful day, I already voted, I got to eat lunch with my son at school, and we are going to the movies after school (THEN I will plant myself in front of the TV until all the votes are in...)
