Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Can't I Take Away All This Pain

Hey there sweetie.. there not much I can add to what everybody else has said but .. it just upsets me so that he contiues to verbally abuse you but saying things like "i love you" just to make you keep holding on. It is like verbal abuse I think. sometimes I think when they are being nicey nice is worse, it gives you false hopes only to be let down even harder.

I will continue to keep you in my thoughts, Im so sorry.

(((((corey)))))

Hi Corey, Just stopping in with hugs!!!

You played it the right way. Doing more of the same is going to be good for you and if it happens to maybe loosen his head out of his behind, so be it.

Let him go for you. I know deep down you don't want to, but for your own sake you need to. Remember the old saying...If you love something set it free...? This is what you need to do. Not only will you be letting him go but you will be freeing yourself. I am sure you will feel the difference that makes. You having a choice in all of this, you deciding this is the way you choose to go.

Hugs Corey.

kat

Hey all, in a much better state of mind today. My little black rain cloud has moved away for the time being.

I'm back to game on in the sense that what I have done the last couple of days has not been working for me at all. I have said the things I have needed to say to H for me. These are things that have built up over the last several months and trying to contain them was hurting me. Did it do any good? I doubt it, but it did ME some good, so altogether it was a win.

DS got picked for All Stars again this year (football) and he is going to be excited. Its a good way to end a disappointing season for him. YAY!!!!

WOO HOO!!! Good news Corey!

(((Corey)))

you should be from ear to ear!

Good for him. AND good for you today!

Hey there. I'm so sorry I've been MIA in your thread. But, from what I read, you have done what you needed to do. You know I don't ever give up hope for a marriage to get back on track. Your case, as hard as it is, is no exception. He DOES need to feel what it is like without you. He always wants to contact you when he needs you or wants you, like he has you in his back pocket. If you want a sense of empowerment you could draw up (or vocalize) a list of requirements that he would need to follow in order for you to even look his way. That way, he knows what he needs to do and it is not in your lap. It is in his lap. You aren't choosing to not talk to him, HE is choosing to not follow your requirements. I don't know...something more straightforward and blatent to him. He keeps trying for that gray area.

Yep. The gray area, where the only winner is him.

I feel like the only thing I can do for him anymore is pray. He will either CHOOSE to get better or not. The rest of it is just extra stuff that makes it harder than it needs to be. Like I have said previously. The next two months will show me what is real and what is not. I no longer believe anything that comes out of his mouth. He needs to put up or shut up. Being an addict is no longer a viable excuse. If you know you have a problem, deal with it or suffer, stop using it as a reason to continue the bad behavior.

Thanks for stopping by WDID.

You bet. Power of the praying wife is a good book. Easy read, easy prayer book. You may like it. Hang in there Sugar.

WDID I will have to get that book. I got my sense of empowerment this weekend by saying what was on my heart. I didn't pull any punches and said some things that he needed to hear. What he does with the truths I told are up to him now. I know that the end is near and I see light at the end of the tunnel, for my children and I. I have pretty much left things up to him as far as, I will no longer absorb his problems and make them my own. If that makes sense.