Well, Sunshine, he hasn't lost his sense of humor. That is a very good sign.
I think you've picked up some wonderful things that I can't really add to. You know I'm with you all the way. I'm glad you are giving this a shot b/c at least now you'll know and not be left wondering (I think I read you giving Ali some advice like this - "I'd rather say I wish I wouldn't have than I wish I would have" - so it is good to see you following your own words, my dear.
I like FG calling on you to lead and especially his follow up reminding you that you don't have to lead 100%, but just do some "gentle steering" now and then. You can do this part. It is naturally in you and you're leading him already.
Show him the way and let him walk the path. If he gets a bit lost, gently remind him of his destination and then see if he gets back on the path. Lead him gently and he'll show you if he's going to change forever.
You are doing well. Keep going. Keep fighting. Keep growing and changing for you and the others will benefit as well.
Jeff, I knew your reaction. I was hoping you would miss that one...
Thanks everyone for thoughts and wishes. I guess when the mods wake up this thread will be locked. And I will have to start a new one. I will start one in piecing, although it may seem a bit premature but we are both supposed to be committed to make an honest effort and try to piece this mess and turn it around and make it a good solid relationship, so I will just go ahead, hey, I have to be positive right?
I have nothing else to report since last night's post. He sent me a TM late at night telling he just got off work and wishing me Good Morning if I were to find it in the morning. I was still awake but chose not to answer.
It's already after 13:00 here and he has not contacted me yet. Maybe he didnt understand? Maybe he is planning a surprise for me? Or do you think he is busy at work?... Hmmmmm (I am a cynic, what can I say?)
Although FG and RTL said I should lead a bit, I am not going to as far as how this is going to proceed. He wants to try, I want to, I am available some hours everyday, he is not. I wonder how this can happen, what he has on his mind. I am very curious about that.
So, thanks for the support and help and advice and laughs and tears through my 43 (!!!) threads. Thanks for all the love you gave me, the wise words, the feeling of being understood. Thanks for not criticizing me and standing by me through all the ups and downs of this crazy rollrcoaster. It's not over, in fact I have a feeling another round is just starting but I wouldnt have made it here without all of you and I will need your help during the "next exciting adventures of Sunshine". Love, Maria/Kalni/Sunshine
PS Deb (Bill's other half), the questions I wanted to ask you will have to wait for now. Thanks anyway...
Good afternoon! Just trying to catch up slowly....like you said before, you owe it to your family (I guess that should read your kids) to give this a try. Before I went away, I commented on your mood. I was concerned that you were not going into this with your usual positive attitude. I sense that your attitude is better now. Good luck in piecing. I think this is where the real game begins....you have made it to the big leagues. The effort level needs to be constant if you have aspirations to win the championship. (sorry for the sports lingo).
Looking forward to finding you over in piecing! I had a rough weekend that ended on a high note, but I was following you all along. I am so thrilled!! I pray daily for God to lead my H home and to also join you guys in piecing.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
well then, I'll have to make sure I find you in piecing, my dear.
You have another challenge ahead of you for sure, but the good news is you've done all the work and heavy lifting on yourself, so you now know what you want and don't want, what you will and will not tolerate, and most importantly, how to love yourself and thus share this information w/ the one you love.
As for leading, you are leading him and the more he knows the more he'll follow. Just do it at your own pace. He said he'd be willing to go as fast or as slow as you are comfortable w/, so use that to your advantage and you dictate the speed.
We're all w/ you as we have been through 43 threads. Why in the world would we all leave now? Your posts are like the upcoming Harry Potter books. They've gotten to be a world-wide event!
So, until this thread locks I have a small update...
axH called and asked if I wanted to talk about my message last night. I said I dont have anything else to say and he asked me "so, all you want to tell me is -the clock is ticking-?". I said yes that was all needed to be said. He started laughing hard and said "Ok whatever, I just have a question, how come you decided to try since until Friday night you were so negative?" I said : "If I dont do it I will not be able to sleep at nights, mainly for the kids", he stopped and then asked me
"so, you are telling me you are doing what you specifically wanted to know I am not doing, wanting to reconcil for the kids?"
I said yes, mainly for the kids and that I had not hidden from him how I feel, I have been pretty honest with him. He agreed he knew how I feel and said OK.
I then asked him if knowing this changes his mind or he needs time to reconsider before we start "doing this"... YES, I asked him if he wanted to back off. He immediately said, "no, no need to reconsider, I know what I want, I've told you what I want, it's going to be fine".
So, I gave him a reason and a chance to back off and he didnt.
After we ended the call, I felt really bad for being so cruel and cold and put myself to his shoes. It felt horrible. So, I sent him a message saying "I am sorry I was that cruel, I should have said that I would want us to be good together but I am very scared" . His reply? "Dont worry, it didnt matter, please relax...!"
Ok, I am now officially entering the Twillight Zone.. K
