Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Stepping a toe into the light

ok, so they might just be living together as flatmates, not as boyfriend and Nasty Other Woman (or whatever)??? confused???

I am sending you ginormous hugs!!!!!

LOVE,
T

((((((((((((((Julia)))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry that you found out this info via FB. He should be man enough to let you know this information before it actually happens. I know these WAH hate to feel guilt so he will most likely not admit to it right now. You are not even sure what the actual situation is with them and it could just be as housemates. NO ASSUMING.

Please keep up some PMA and GAL. Keep yourself busy to try to keep this off of your mind your now. Sending you some positive vibes and hoping you are not too overwhelmed tomorrow at work!!

(((Guys)))

So, I have been caving for a little while as I have been avoiding action. Or, if I wanted to make excuses, I could say I have been mustering up the energy to carry on with h. As no answers have come to me (other than angry ones) I am going to make an appointment with Jody - I have also been avoiding ringing. I thought if I posted here that I was going to do that it would force me into action and you guys can give me a huge kick up the butt if I don't do it.

The best thing is though that I haven't been stewing the past few days, I have been having a nice time and enjoying myself. Perhaps the reason why I don't really want to deal with this h stuff...

*Sigh*

P.S - I have an icky work lunch today with a really slimey bloke. Yuck!

P.P.S - work is fun at the moment which is great. I am liaising with the Palace and organising a Royal visit so it is all very exciting. Yesterday I met with the Royal security officer to walk the route HRM (not the Queen!) is going to take - he was quite hot such a gentleman...

Hi Julia,

Glad to hear you haven't been stewing, and that you met a hot security officer!

I'm also glad that you're going to call Jody. Sounds then like you're not ready to throw in the towel :).

ITH

Oooohhhh, intriguing! Security officer sounds like fun and we'll love to hear more about the royal visit. That sounds like it would be a real honor.

Call Jody ASAP. It sounds like you're not ready to give up if you are going to set an appointment with her. I'm really glad you're going to give it one more shot (at least).

((((((((((((((Julia))))))))))))))

Ok, all booked. Friday... hmmm it does seem I'm giving it one more shot doesn't it. That is good. I'll be really intrigued to see what ideas she has. I, for sure, can't see any.

Here is the link to Princess Alexandra... it's very exciting. I have to curtsey! She's visiting the hospital for 45 mins and is apparently really nice.

http://www.royal.gov.uk/output/Page5566.asp

Gee Julia! I've never even heard of her before. She is a beautiful lady and I'm sure her charitable work is inspiring. Have a wonderful time!!!

Wow Ms Thing!!! Coodadaling with the Royals now?!?!? I know in DB they tell us to GAL but that's amazing!! LoL

Enjoy it sounds like it is going to be a great experience. Good Luck with Jody's call too. You know there have been worse situations that have turned out with a DBing!!! Keep positive!!!

Hello. Are you back from your holiday? I hope you had a nice time, wherever you went.

I heard on the radio this morning that there was an explosion in (my home town)! Did you hear it? I hope it didn't scare Maple. Speaking of whom, I had a reminder from the vet that she is due for her booster injections.

Have you thought any more about getting the house on the market? I have decided to move out of the flat, one of my colleagues at work is going on a 10 month career break and he was looking to sub-let his flat in (South London). So I am going to move in, for 10 months at least. If he finds a permanent job abroad while he's on his career break it might be a longer-term thing. So that's my latest news. Things will be pretty tight for me so I hope we can get the house sale moving.

Anyway I hope you're ok... have you seen the new James Bond? I saw it at the weekend, it's really good!

Speak to you soon
H.

This pops up in my inbox this morning. Seriously it makes me angry and disgusted just to see his name. I can't even 'look' at him at the moment - not that obviously I ever get that opportunity because he won't have any kind of face-to-face conversation. I have no empathy whatsoever for him anymore. I think it best I don't reply until after speaking to Jody. If I were to look at this in a DBing way here are the good points -

He is initiating contact
He is friendly and pleasant and is chatty
It isn't all about the relationship.

My feelings, I can't even express I am seething. I think I will have to go swimming and take it out on the pool.

P.S - I didn't know there was any explosion in my town as I didn't hear it so no need to worry. Love his concern for the cat though, glad he doesn't worry that I may have been hurt/ injured/ scared or involved in some way.

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

(((((Julia)))))))

Deep breath in through the mouth, out slowly through the nose.....repeat 10 times. Calming......

It's a good idea not to reply to his "note" right now. It's driven too many of your emotions back to the surface and replying now would probably "stoke the fire".

He was certainly chatty in his email but he is already "done" so he really has no emotion attached to it. He is being "practical" for his own purposes, he has no personal stake other than monetary as far as he's concerned right now. I know it's brutal, but I feel it's the truth.

It will be interesting to hear what Jody has to say about it and how you should respond.

Go swim and do battle with those lanes!!!!!!!!