Hi Friends The L appt went well seems like I will get everything Im asking for according to L H is up the creek I asked L to wait the 20 days stall a little then I asked L to say to his L
Wife will CONSIDER reconciliation with Couseling If H says NO way, I told L to proceed
My L said he will say it he also said most men are usually done by the time they file
well H here tonight to see kids Our R has been friendly but vert detached on both our sides I sense H is probably done as well I am ok I think I will be moviung forward soon I still have some healing to finish It takes a long time thanks for your support Peace NG I am trying to start a business but I dont seem to put enough energy yet into it..in time
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hey peace- I am glad that the meeting with the L went well. Sure most people are done by the time they file for a D...or at least they think they are. You know this is just another another way for your H to escape his pain. Who knows if your H will ever figure things out but regardless you know that you gave it everything you possibly could. I like that you are stating in your response that you are willing to reconcile with C. Your H and his L will probably ignore that but I think it is good that you put it in there.
Grieve and detach more...your H leaves you with no choice. Put your focus and energy into your kids and your business. Do you think if your H watched the kids somewhere else, it would help you detach more?
With everything you have gone through, you have been so incredibly strong. I think you are past the worst of it...now is the time to start living and enjoying.
I loved NG and butterfly mom's analogies of the lighthouse. That's a powerful image and one that can only help.
I had the same thought as Upside:
Quote:
Do you think if your H watched the kids somewhere else, it would help you detach more?
Now that he's officially told you that he wants a D, having him take the kids at pre-arranged times may help him see how a D would work if he goes through with it. Do you want him to continue to pop in to your house whenever he wants to?
I'm thinking of you and hope you're doing better and better each day.
thanks girls for stopping by so you guys think its of if L says w doesnt want this D and will consider Counseling for reconciation or communication?
I am well.. H here and he was helpful as S7 was sick today we talked a little and he was friendly No expectations for me I have to move on I asked if he was going to get apt he got upset..."i have to be careful be money" I think if he does live at friends house , that also makes it easy to have no responsibility..he just pays rent and thats it he has no furniture or household goods of his own cant bring kids there its so weird how one can give up every thing they have worked for a ride on a wave?? I onm the other hand feel secure in my home my assets and my kids I need to let go of the why?? If the universe sees fit for me to know why, I guess someday I will
peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hi peace- I doubt we will ever know the whole reason why this happened. I sometimes think it is a character flaw...then sometimes I just think it is the luck of the draw since there seems to be so many people that experience something like this.
That has to be difficult for you that your H can't bring your kids to where he now lives. Do you believe that is the case? Try to do what is best for you but ultimately you have to do what is right for your kids as hard as that may be...and I agree that you need to let go of the "why"...you may get the answer someday...or you may not.
I think it is good that you are stating on the record that you are will to reconcile with C. Your H will proably just ignore it right now, but it may sink in later.
Hope your S is feeling better and be thankful that your H is there to help in some capacity.
Upside Thanks for all your support and friendship I am well today just got back from HS reunion it was fun Seems just about almost everyone is D I guess it is the NORM these days I feel stronger ..it was fun I think this D will give me distance I need to see h less physically too im starting to really feel like I hope the best for him I think im almost done hard to tell as im always takin it back all is ok peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I do hope you are doing ok. You are right about cycling back and forth. You are farther along this path then me.
As far as household goods ect, I can relate. It must be some mens "thing" that they do not need alot of stuff to feel comfortable. As a LBS like you, I would rather not have a bunch of things where I am at.
Just let letting go be natural. If you force it it will come back to haunt you. Enjoy your life the best you can, who knows what tomorrow may bring. Take care of yourself.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
Maybe the D isnt the answer for him??? im doing better at detaching we had a little chit chat not much i wanted to clean my car and not be around H too much had fun tonight with a friend tomorrow I will spend with kids I told him not to come..2nd sunday in a row Im just so tired of waiting f around on weekends for him to show and I want to show kids we could have fun they think He is fun parent..Wonder why?? Peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
