D and I went to a local town's theatre where they had a free movie of 'Horton Hears a Who' and then trick-or-treating in town. That was fun....although VERY slow with all the people there! I get aggrevated in crowds. Now we're at mom's getting ready to go to another Halloween party in the park in mom's town with me, D, my sister and niece. Hopefully this will be a nice time. Sis has major attitude daily and always has a bug up her arse!
If you keep doing more of the same you will keep geting the exact same results. You refuse to move forwards based on fear. You refuse to go dark. You refuse to believe that he is stringing you along and every single week he makes plans with you and every single week he cancels and you still ask the same questions....why?
Dar, MLC or not your Husband is a jerk. Your Husband has a girlfriend. He plays head games with you because you feel as though you deserve this treatment because of the past. He knows how to push your buttons and you let him.
I don't know about you, but I do know that a person can only take so much until they finally snap. All of that anger you supress will eventually erupt into a huge big blowup. And when that happens your Husband will say "see you never changed".
And then he will turn it all around and make it all your fault again.
And so.....the dance will begin....again.
It is time to change the steps.
Get on with your life as though he is never coming home.
Find out exactly how much he should be paying in child support and have him give you that amount every single month.
Stop feeling sorry for him. Depression is an illness which can be helped with AD's and therapy, it is not a friggin death sentence. Bad childhood or not does not give anyone the right to treat their Spouse like crap.
Set boundaries and stick to them.
Get yourself some self respect and stop allowing him to control your every single move.
You live to hear the sound of his voice. His moods dictate your moods. His actions dictate your moods.
Your Husband has become the deity in your life.
I am NOT telling you to get a Divorce, I am telling you to get your act together and to stop existing and start living your life.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Yea, there's alot going on with me and I have confided in BND. She's a good friend....a great friend. I have gone around the same circle over and over for 2 years and she's just telling it like it is. I have bowed down to my H long enough and it's time to live for me and D. I was a mess yesterday and had terrible terrible thoughts. I have decided that H is not worth these kind of thoughts. It's a new leaf for me and I'm turning it now! It's 1pm and I have no interest in speaking to H so that right there tells me I'll be all good.
NC w/H for 2 days now and doing pretty well. Had a meeting at school today for D's IEP and ofcourse it was more negative. I walked out of the school after the meeting thinking "I wish I could stay home and get D's crap together." Sigh. It sucks doing it alone, but I'm doing it as best as I can!
