I am interested in hearing from WAW's that have gotten back with their spouce and what worked to get them to that point. My W of 4yrs is a WAW since June of this year. I have seen my faults in the issue and am working on becoming a better person because of it. She says she care's but doesn't know if she can love me again. I am doing what I can to do the things she felt I didn't do in the pasts. What else helps the WAW to see that they can trust the H or re-kindle love? Thanks B
I have been DBing for 4 months. I am, (I think?), making some progress. At least I am in communication with the W and we have been doing, what I call dating. I do not think that is what she calls it, I do not care what she calls it. The important thing is that we are communicating. I would be interested in some feed back along those lines myself.
To all of the you returning WAW please help out the interested souls. VS
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I know that not hearing anything is so very hard on you. I went almost two months without hardly any communication from my W. It drove me up the wall. I wanted soooo much to talk to her or get an email from her. It was one of the worst experiences I have ever had in my life. After about two months I finally met my W for to have lunch on her birthday. That meeting was as good as it had been bad not hearing from her.
I do not have as much experience as some of the others around here, but maybe if you stopped trying to contact her. Let her think about not hearing from for a while. It may conjure up some curiosity in her mind. Right now she knows that you want her back and she may not be worrying about you not being there as a safety net. I do not know. You have tried very hard to communicate with her; maybe by stopping she may contact you.
BUT BEWARE, It will even more difficult on you not to communicate with her. Going Dark is a very, very hard thing to do, at least for me it was. I was scared that she would think I did not care or I was really scared that she would forget about me and us. I could not employee any of the 180s, or to show her I was making progress in making changes. For me it seemed to work. I am not out of the woods by a long shot, but I am closer now than I was 5 months ago.
Hang in there and keep your eye on the green and out of the bunkers. VS
FF, for me the more my H gave me space and time, the more I realized what I was missing. I needed some time to grow as a person. It has been almost 2 years...it's been a long long journey...I don't know how it is going to end; however, we are now trying MC...never give up hope!!!
good luck, Christarn
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
I was scared that she would think I did not care or I was really scared that she would forget about me and us. I could not employee any of the 180s, or to show her I was making progress in making changes.
VS, this perfectly describes me. I am trying to go dark now but it's going to be tough with our hearing this week and knowing that the ball is rolling.
Stay strong!!! I know you have heard this before... hearing is not necessarily the end. It is just another day on the rollercoaster from H*LL. At least you will get to see and talk to your W. Be cool. Show no anger. Stay clam. Think twice before saying anything. Control you emotions. This will be one of the hardest thing you will do. It will be a major character builder for you. Keep your head up and take one more step forward.
I know this is not much, but these are a few of the things I have learned around here. Good Luck!!! VS
