Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives Convinced my M is over; trying to move forward.

Le
I do think my W has seen that isnt the case, at least somewhat she has. Her thinking was the same, they wont have any problem with OM. But she has been proven wrong. They all will, will that make them think differently, who know. As long as we stand by our kids and be the strong one, that is all we can do. Maybe they will get out of la la land. Maybe they wont.

James--go Google search for "BPD411." mC had a post from cookie on his thread. I went and read some of that and it blew me away. Doesn't give me much hope for a M to my W anymore, but it explains quite a bit about her. I would really like to go talk to my IC now and see what he would have to say about her behavior. Hard to know if that is what she is doing is textbook borderline behavior but it sure seems like it is.

LE
Dang, but LE dont lose the hope. After all things may change. They may not in either one of our cases but, if it doesnt we will be so much smarter. Like u said, it crazy, we were the last ones we thought would be here. But u and i know that the OM wont always be the golden boy. The question will be, will we still be waiting? Who knows!

LE..I often ask myself that question..HOW can hub not exhaust every available option, at least for our kids..if not for our marriage? I am with you in the "hello, I don't get it" boat

Tawnya

So, if things don't work out for our marraiges, we'll just have to work really hard to make sure the kids know that this is not the way life is supposed to be. I tell my boys all the time that I love their dad...that I always will. When they are older, I intend to make sure they understand that what happened to us is not the way things are supposed to go...I want them to know that marriage is supposed to be a forever thing. I can teach them that...I can teach them that even without their dad!

Hugs to you LE...when we get to our neighborhood, I nominate you to do all the grocery shopping...I hate it!!! I'll trade that for laundry or something you hate...What do you think?

Amy

I'll help with groceries.... I hate laundry!!!

I don't mind groceries or laundry..I hate PUTTING AWAY groceries once I go get them..LOL..I think I am the same way with laundry, don't mind doing it, just not that thrilled about putting it away..

OK..so who is gonna clean the toilets? LOL..that is probably my least favorite job EVER I'll vacuum if someone will do that..

Tawnya

I don't mind groceries, or cooking or laundry. I always liked doing that stuff. That has been the roughest adjustment of all. I was the support system for our family and I have been relieved of duty. It hurts. That was where I started considering that I was a codependent, putting the needs of everyone else in my family ahead of me. Where do you draw the line between codependent and caring father/husband? Obviously, I fell short in the H department because I am here. If my wife is BPD, then maybe that explains the cause. Mostly, I just hurt for my kids. W doesn't get it, cares more about herself than them. I don't want to have anything to do with her, and that pushes me away from the kids, so how am I doing any better? I couldn't stand sitting at home so I came into work six hours early. Plenty to do.

hey le, thinking of you. I am like you, dont mind things like that at all. oh wait I am the wife, my job, sheesh, what would I do with a H who did things? probably have a heart attack lol! your kids love and need you. you are doing good for them. some day, they will be old enuff to thank you. My kids, want us to work this out so bad, I have to try.

is it supposed to get cold tonite? I am so warn out, I dread having to do woodstove chores to get ready for it.

They've got a freeze warning for tonight at 3:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m.