Thinking of you Jeff. You, John, Kalni, and Woog are all right in a row on the front page tonight. Kind of like it was last year, late winter....not that I want that life back, but it is nice to see my friends "together" again....
((((((BobbiJo)))))) We have made some friends that will last forever, I think. I find it to be a pretty big silver lining in all of this. As time goes by, I hope I get a chance to meet a lot of them in real life, even if it is just passing through!
((((((Michelle)))))) Bulletproof would be good.
((((((W2G)))))) Thanks for stopping in. I appreciate your support!
((((((Ali)))))) No, I haven't paid for coaching. I guess I wouldn't rule it out, but I don't expect to do it. But, I won't say never. As far as the validating thing goes, I don't think it is as much a matter of me not knowing how, as W choosing to hear what she wants to hear.
W CLAIMS that she would prefer I was not conflict avoidant. I'd say that her actual actions suggest otherwise. Well, maybe not, it is ok to have a conflict, as long as she gets her way in the end.
((((((GF)))))) You got a hug for visiting at the end of the last thread! And because I like to give hugs, anyway!
Yes, I have seen a lot of W in your H. Their controlling nature, and ability to turn everything onto us is remarkable!
OK, I have been thinking. It seems that one way to start this "talk" might be to ask her what would have to happen in order for her to become interested in the M. As it is, I've been trying to hit what seems to be a very small target, that is moving besides. Maybe if it is put into words it will stop moving. On the other hand, if even then it keeps moving, I think I have my answer, as well.
In a lot of ways, I think I already know the answer. After all, it's been something like two years since this was her room (I don't think a few nights count), almost four years since there was any winking, not even hugs for two years. How much clearer could she be?
Thoughts?
Tomorrow I get to take S10 to school in the morning for "peer mediation" training. I'll be interested to see what he does. He has already told me that he won't be able to tell me what he does, so he understands that the situations he is asked to mediate are private. I think it is pretty cool that he's been offered this chance. He might learn a lot about dealing with conflict, and people. Maybe he can teach me! Then it is off to a soccer game! It's only supposed to be 89 tomorrow!
Jeff, I cant give any advice right now. I am sufficating so whatever comes out of my...fingers, it is bound to be wrong (due to lack of oxygen). Just know that if you decide to take the dive I will be around, help you in any way I can. K
.Hey Jeff, for what it's worth, I think that that is a fair question for your wife. And it could go three ways. She says there is nothing that would make it worth working on the marriage or that she would like you to ...... in order to work on it or that she does not want to work on it, but she can continue to live status quo.
I think you have to be prepared with what you are willing to accept. But you cannot assume you know her answer, because you do not know for sure.
H is in Scottsdale, eating at Flemings steak house. Feel free to go over there and smack him for me. Or introduce yourself as my "special friend" and tell him details you know about me. It would be fun to see the look on his face..............
The first and the third are pretty much the same. In that case, I guess it's time to decide whether it's time to call "time" on the whole thing. If she actually has some kind of a list, then there's a roadmap. Then I can decide what to do from there.
I think at this point I can accept any of those answers. The biggest trick if she is willing to try at some point is whether or not I think I can ever trust that we don't end up here again. But, I think I am still willing to take the chance on that.
