Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy For the Guy with Kids and a WW Dix-Sept

Hey kat.

Nope. Basically, her aunt was telling me that the wife is a lost cause. Not to "act" like I've moved on, but to "boogie on down the road" move on.

Apparantly, she believes that my wife has turned out to be just like her mother, as much as the wife never wanted to admit it and always denied it. The aunt has been through a lot with her husband, too. I think she regrets taking him back after numerous flings on his part. They actually divorced because of his indiscretions. They got back together many years ago.

I think what she is telling me is that it's not worth it. Not with the wife's family history.

I wonder this sometimes too. My H's family history. Everyone in his family has multiple divorces and affairs including his parents. He also parents like his parents, they were both absent workaholic parents. His dad worked 80 hours a week or so as an L, and his mom was a college professor and worked on her doctorate in her "spare" time. They were raised a lot by a nanny. Maybe that kind of stuff can't be overcome, esp. if they don't want to and maybe don't even realize what they are like/doing.... Karen

Well it something only you can decide. We will be here supporting you regardless, however I would ask that you truly feel as if you have tried every avenue available to you before you wrap it up. You don't want to look back and say what if I had tried this or that.( I normally would use letters there but I don't want you to think I am talking about the alphabet girls)! lol

Hugs my friend.

kat

Kat
That was good. I may never be able to use alphabets for bullet point again, at least not without a

H4H, I quit buying books for my W a couple of years ago. See, I'm a fixer and that doesn't make the sitch any better. The books I bought are in a box collecting dust. Goes back to me being the problem; not her.

The same for the anniversary card that I gave her last month. It's still in the door of my Jimmy on the passenger side where she sat after our anniversary dinner.

H4H, I have been meaning to ask you if you think the age difference between you and your wife played a major factor in all this? My wife and I are about 12 years different and I see/feel the difference in what we like to do, our tastes in things etc. Also what is the age of the OM?

I've often wondered the same thing about me and my W. But I think there's a lot more to it than that. I know a couple that has 18 years between them and they have one of the most stable R around. Both active in the church and have great kids. His 2nd M however, her first.

mC,

I stopped buying her books, too. A couple of years ago, when we had first started having problems, I bought several books that she never read.

She is not a reader.

When she was in the rehab last year, I got her the "Power of a Praying Woman" and "....Praying Wife" books. She read the "Woman" a bit, but only "Wife" sporadically. She did get into her Bible everyday. The aunt would call her and read scriptures with her.

This last book I bought out of kindness. I have no idea what is was about. I just know she watches Joel Osteen every Sunday since she stopped going to church last July. Osteen seems to be more of an inspirational speaker. I figured she would like it. No other reason. I would like her to start to attend church again.

I'm a big time rescuer, too. It would seem that most of us here, are.

If you were to ask the wife, she would say that yes, age played a difference. When we moved her nephew into our house two years ago, I became pretty bitter. I aged. Unable to laugh at myself. Overly serious. That's the me she was running from. All of the sudden, I was just a father figure from the beginning. All of the sudden, when we first hooked up, I was the adult she needed. I was 30, she was 20 and had a 6 month old. Her mother was not talking to her, and she had just left S14's father. She tells everyone she was married, but they were not.

The age difference became my fault at the end. I became my father and grandfather. Grouches.

Age is a state of mind and this has helped me find me again. I'm really fun to be around again. And for that, I'm grateful to her.

You know, I'm going to have to start reading your sitch; because it sounds like we have taken very similar paths in our marriages.

I'll take some time in the next couple of days. Nice to meet you.

Tom

There is a big truth in this. I also went down the bitter, no fun to be around guy. I also lost my lighthearted love of life attitude. Although it is a bad way to get an attitude adjustment.

Keep hanging in there. Any way it goes we are better people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URvFvF3Ut3g