Good Morning Everyone, It is so nice to check the boards and have messages from my wonderful friends on here. You all will never know how much you all have come to mean to me!
Please forgive me for being absent from the board so much lately. I had a really busy weekend and week. We had parent teacher conference Tuesday night and teacher meetings all day yesterday. So I've had very little time to catch up with everyone. Please know that you all have been on my mind and I think of you all often.
Saffie, I got your mail and it made my day to get it. Sorry that I haven't had time to properly to respond to it, but that will change after school today. Because of blocks, I'm not able to access my personal email at school.
Okay, I'll update you all on my life lately. You know that H and I had a talk about 3 weeks ago, with me doing most of the talking. I told him that things had to change or I would file. He got pretty emotional and quiet and admitted that he had hurt me tremendously and had not put out the effort that I had to work on us.
Well, lately he has really been working on us. He has been coming around and calling a lot more lately. This past weekend went to DD17 out of town football game.
Saturday night we attended the halloween party together. I had to get at the party before he did because I had to sell tickets. Funny thing is that when he got there I saw him, but he did not see me. He called and asked where I was. He was very attentive to me during the night. At one time he was talking to one of his friends and I walked over to talk to a couple of my friends. He came over and got me by the hand and said let's go dance. It was a slow dance and he kissed me when we got on the dance floor, (it was just a short sweet kiss, just wanted to let Dr. Love know, before he starts accusing me of making out on the dance floor, LOL).
Sunday we worked in the backyard a couple of hours covering the pool and such. He left to go hunting and I went to clean up after the party. He called while he was on his deer stand just to talk. He also called me when he got home from hunting.
Monday night I did not hear from him. I knew he was working out of town so I really didn't expect to hear from him. He called Tuesday night and wanted me to come to his house. Last night DD and I went to his house to use his printer since ours is out of ink. She had a rough draft to type. He seemed pleased to see me. He told me about some plans he was trying to make for us this weekend. It's so nice that he is trying to make plans for us. He's talking about the future. I don't say much I just listen.
Things seem to be looking up, but as we all know it's best not to put much into their behavior.
Today is the 2 year anniversary of the bomb. I never thought 2 years ago that I would survive all of this. Thank you all for being there and being my friends.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Not only survive, but thrive. Think of where you were 2 years ago. And where your H was, too. I am thrilled to death to read about him coming around. You are amazing, yoyo, and have done a wonderful DB'ing job for yourself and for your marriage. I pray he continues to gravitate towards you. He would be a fool if he didn't!
I too hope that he will continue on the path he is on. I saw something on another thread that I thought might work for you. A woman said that she got rid of the OW by forgiving her and telling her that she and her husband would never get divorced. The OW gave up and moved on. I wonder, if you sent OW a letter saying that, what would happen?
things sound like they are headed in the right direction for you and H. I am keeping you in my thoughts that your H turns the corner and figures out that he really belongs home.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Sara, I too have thought a lot about forgiveness. I think one of my major downfalls was talking about the "OW" to my H when I get angry. To him I'm saying I'll never forgive you and I'll always throw her up in your face. I know he is no longer seeing her outside of work because we are together all the time. I know that the temptation is still there at work, but it is helpful that DD20 works there also.
Right now I'm working on "us". We are communicating and spending time together. He even asks me about my day now! I like the fact that he is making weekend plans for us. I've got to show him that I'm the more "desirable" person without being weak. I'm showing him that I want to be with him, but I can also make it without him.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Saffie, I think he is beginning to finally get that. The other night he was at the house and we were talking. I was teasing him about something and he said well, I might just have to leave then. I just looked at him and smiled and said "Bye then". Needless to say he didn't leave. I think he thought I would be so afraid that he would leave I would try to talk him out of it.
This week is spirit week at the high school. Each day has a theme. Tuesday was called camo day (yes, very redneck, but this is the south, LOL). I started to go to his house to borrow some of his hunting camouflage, but decided I really didn't feel like going to that much trouble plus I really didn't want to call him. When he called Tuesday I told him about it. He said you should have came over, I was here. He seemed disappointed I didn't call. I said oh well, I just didn't feel like going to that much trouble.
I really am at the point that I can make it without him. I want it to work, but I will be okay if it doesn't. I think he knows that.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I just looked at him and smiled and said "Bye then". Needless to say he didn't leave. I think he thought I would be so afraid that he would leave I would try to talk him out of it.
Atta' Girl, Yoyo!!! He's starting to figure out which side his bread is buttered -- and you don't let him forget. And your demeanor, of standing on your own if need be and not wilting should he wander, has got to be that much more alluring to him.
Think of where you were 2 years ago. And where your H was, too. I am thrilled to death to read about him coming around. You are amazing, yoyo, and have done a wonderful DB'ing job for yourself and for your marriage. I pray he continues to gravitate towards you. He would be a fool if he didn't!