Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy trying to be patient and strong 7

Hi Karen, you sound like such a great mom. I hope I can stay grounded and keep it together like you are.
The kids to me are the bottom line. So sad the H's can't see that.

Hey Karen, the job sounds really cool and I just have to echo everyone else. You are doing such a great job. Your so much stronger and together and have grown so much, in spite of all that has happened with you and H. He is the loser here, not you. You did what you could and he wouldn't/couldn't meet you 1/2 way or even a 1/4 of the way, thats on him. You keep up the good work lady, I'm proud of you.

Thanks, Lyn and Corey!!! You know, I have kind of thought for a while that I would probably do better long-term than H. He's got some issues of course. I would think eventually they would come out and OW will probably move on to her 4th potential H.

I had another regular old day for me. Should have done more fun stuff, but will try to do that tomorrow maybe! I did a couple hours of cleaning the house and opened the windows b/c it was a sunny 76 today but going down to 45 tonight! Cool for FL! Then did a few hours of bible study (prob. wouldn't have signed up for the class if I had known it would be so much work! Then worked out for an hour. I colored my hair just a temporary--supposed to be medium blonde but it came out looking the same kind of dark blonde that I am but covered the gray up a little so guess that's good.

That was my day....kids came home at 9pm. H complained about S14 hair (he doesn't rinse the shampoo very well so it doesn't look so good). Don't know what to do about that, he's too old for me to wash it for him I think. And complained about S14 toothbrushing (he tried to do it without actually touching his teeth another autism thing). Again I was in my room and H comes in to complain to me. Crap. Maybe I can just email him or something about that; do you think I should? I kind of didn't want to see him or talk to him or email him unless we had to re: the kids!!! Karen

Hey K, thanks for the 2x4 on my thread...it was gentle but appropriate. There are just times that the little "what if" devils come whispering in our ears. Most of the time I dont listen and I have worked very hard a getting detached. Almost there, but not completely. Not enough time has past yet.

I think you should send your X an email that says he is not allowed to enter your bedroom. It is not appropriate for him to be that comfortable in YOUR home. As far as how to handle son, personally your X chose to leave and now can learn how to be a father all on his own. It is his responsibility to create a relationship with them. So what if son's hair is gross when he is with X, when he is with you then you can handle it your way. Unless your children are in danger from X, dont offer him any advice. Just my opinion.

Yes, I definitely agree that you should set that boundary about not coming in to your bedroom. Like beginning with..."when you are bringing the kids home and you come into the bedroom, it feels....and I would like you not to do that any more."

I'm with you on the haircoloring thing, too--even the same color! You just never know how it's going to turn out. My last time I got a reddish shade from "medium ash brown!"

And good luck with the job!! Sounds great. I'm with you on the "letting kids do their own art" thing. And I have tons of just lovely pieces of art to prove it!!

(((Karen)))

Just stopping by to say good morning. Oh yeah, and I agree - if the bedroom is yours, make it known. He left and needs to realize that. Maybe even consider a lock???

Have a good day.

I agree with the others. Time to set a boundary on the bedroom thing, Karen.

Oh, and on the haircolor thing. Maybe if you ladies didn't allow yourselves to be marketed to with FOS names like "Burnt Sienna," "Morning Taupe" and "Sunset Glow", LOL. When you go to the Hair for Men section, we got Black, Dark Brown, Medium Brown and Light Brown.

Puppy, who uses the Light Brown

Oh, Puppy, only your hairdresser knows!

Karen, I really hope that job comes though for you. It would be fun I think. You sound as if you are doing really good. I am so proud of you!!

kat