Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again Here comes the sun.

Just a little kink you'll work it out.
You just hold onto that stuff.

Funny about the food thing. DId W go to curves last night?

JAK

Ok I may have blown it......
Feeling mixed up right now, Evil thought running through my head again.......

Wife came in and said “I don't know what you are planning that weekend.
Me: I was trying to save our marriage.
Wife: well if you think I was going to just say let's have sex I can't promise you anything
Me: If Sex was all I wanted I could go out tonight and get that I could hang out with Dave and Greg. (They both cheated on their wives) but I am not like that.

The conversation ended there....
Am I a fool? Why am I having such a hard time with the fact that she made the decision to cheat but "can't promise anything" to me?

Is it normal to feel so worthless in your spouse’s eyes? So...take it or leave it...

I have done so well in detaching but I guess I have not. It's almost like I don't want to even try anymore if it is just wasting both our times........

I made another reservation for Nov 21-23

Not sure if I want to keep it..

does anyone see any signs in that cov. that I can't?

Later
Me

thanks Jak,

no she did not.

I need to take a ride be back later... oh ya I did get a hair cut ( wanted to look good )

Dr. Love,
I'm speechless... I don't know what to tell you. It sounds like you may need counseling on this matter. I can totally understand your frustration. She doesn't seem to want to meet you in the middle. Goodness... The weekend isn't about sex,it's about connection, closeness, commuication, and alone time.

Don't cancel the reservations. Just hold on to them.

Sure, I'll take the candles. But really, "I can't promise you anything" is not "no". If you need to change the date, then change the date. But go, and be your charming self. She could warm up. I don't hear anything new in those words.

In fact, what I do hear in those words is, "I'm thinking about it." I can't tell you how many times I told myself in advance I would not have sex that night, but things turned out differently. A gentleman does not ask a lady to promise that she will have sex.

Ok Sara,
I wish you lived closer so at times like this I could go to your house and you could just knock me up along side my fat head..

I am re calibrated now... Drove around a little.Stopped by the P.D and talked with one of the officers that has been there a long time and we talked about the good "old days".

I made the reservations. we will see. This will give me a little more time to scrounge up a little more money anyway. I am making sure I buy things as I get the cash so I don't spend it on something else.
I know what you are saying. She didn't say. "I don't know what you have planned but what ever it is it will not make a differance..."

So now I need to find a rubber ducky for the tub..

I soooo back slid for a moment..

Doc

As I was reading your plans, Doc, I was thinking, sheesh, this sounds like he is going a little fast! You haven't kissed or hugged her in a week, but you have this bubble bath planned for you guys to do together? I mean it sounds nice but it sounds a little forward. Not what she is expecting. Not what she is ready for.

I love the idea of connection but maybe there is a gentler, less risky way of doing it. Like karaoke or something fun. Totally not romantic. Or maybe a new game - I got my kids a game they had never seen and they just loved it, we had a grand old time playing it.

Or it could be a cooking weekend. Like hire a chef to come in and instruct you two on how to cook an autumn feast. They come in and do it right in your own kitchen. At the end you have the meal, but you've also seen it done and you know how to do it on your own.

Just a few ideas. I'm thinking "less romance and more connection."

but this is just a drive-by, I have to say I haven't been following along with you. this is only from reading the prior 4 pages on this particular thread. so, for what it's worth...

(((doc)))

Thanks for the check in I needed it.

Thanks SirP.


Yes I have some games to play the first night.. along with the margaritas... then we are going to go to a Indian Casino the next day and then just drive around and see the sites. The bath (if it takes place will be the last night..
Please drop by anytime and give me the sideline point of view. It helps to have someone with a diferant perspective..

Doc