Cool cool, hopefully it will snow when i go to ar in november
Me-39 STBXW-42 together 20yrs M-17 Kids-2 D-18 S-16 Bomb-96 Bomb-2005 bomb- 3/2008 for a year Separated 5/08 Filing in July Today.... Slowly learning a new life!
I called last night to talk to S & D. S was doing homework, D was crying. "Daddy, I want to come live with you!" That makes me feel fantastic. (sarcasm meter off the scale here) W must've just felt great about it as well, as she put S back on the phone and sent D off to bed. S and I talk for about ten mintues on the events of his day and then we hang up. Two minutes later phone rings, and it is W. Right out of the gate, W reveals that she is quitting her job. Just another side trip down looney street in the kooky town on the weird planet she calls "I'veneverbeenhappierinmylife." She found a company dumb enough to hire her to do sales. She will not make it past the summer. They will either fire her or she will quit. I just said, "Well that sounds like what you wanted, I am happy for you."
W started to chat me up about the Kids of Divorce class and I shut her down. W wants to come to the class that I am taking and I wouldn't give her the details. W asked 'Are you OK?" And instead of the usual "yeah, I'm fine," I just said, "Why do you ask?" W responded "Because I care?" I didn't have an answer for that either. W then asked me about the atty and if I had heard from him. I shut her down there and just said, "I really don't like discussing this with you, so let's leave it with the lawyers." W then asked me about being at the kids conferences and I said that I wouldn't be able to make it, but I trusted her to give me a good report of how they are doing. She got pi$$y at that point and said that "You should care about your children more..." I said that I had DC and I had already missed four times and that I wasn't going to miss it again. That she understood and she let it drop. She asked if I would be around on Friday as the kids are out of school, and I said, "I have to work!" My days of going to our house, where she now enjoys a steady diet of life with OM, are over. After all of her jabber, I told her, "Ya know, I feel like I am letting go and moving on, that would make you happy I would think." She didn't have much else to say after that, and I told her goodnight. Hopefully, I can talk to the kids tonight unfettered by her presence. She is such a selfish person that it bothers her that I don't want to talk to her about her.
My brother pointed out to me an incident that he and SIL noticed once. S was playing organized football and W stepped out onto the field and ripped into him for something he had done wrong. This would've been two or three years ago when S was just 6 or 7. I don't know how I missed it, but when my B pointed that out, it made me realize just how cruel my W can be. Just a complete narcissist like her M. She cannot help it, it is how she was raised. I am luck to be getting out alive!
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
LE, I hear you. My wife can't hold down a job either. She's talking about quitting her job to go take care of her g.mother. WTF?
All the while she's using eHar567y now to try and find a man. I've started a thread over at Infidelity to carry me through to the other side, if it comes to that.
You know guys, I almost think there could be a separate section for dealing with W's who were incest victims. I read some of your earliest thread today, LE, and the comment about her being a "woman-child" is something I've heard before about someone else like that. I know it's very very difficult.
Don't have much else I can say. Wish I had the perfect words.
Im in total agreement with that, then we could share some more of the issues, and some of the things we look over due to there past.
Me-39 STBXW-42 together 20yrs M-17 Kids-2 D-18 S-16 Bomb-96 Bomb-2005 bomb- 3/2008 for a year Separated 5/08 Filing in July Today.... Slowly learning a new life!
You know guys, I almost think there could be a separate section for dealing with W's who were incest victims. I read some of your earliest thread today, LE, and the comment about her being a "woman-child" is something I've heard before about someone else like that. I know it's very very difficult.
Don't have much else I can say. Wish I had the perfect words.
Hugs
And that is exactly how I would describe my W. Very interesting term "woman-child"!?
When I said it struck me, it was because OM was separating from his woman-child. Over more than infidelity, of which there was plenty...but about how she acted like such a complete child about emotions and such. (I feel weird talking about this...but anyway.) And it seemed like his anger over infidelity was to be put away because of all her "issues." Nothing was ever quite her responsibility. And there were the same issues with not connecting with the kids...I remember you mentioning that James, that your W pulled away from your daughter.
I just think you guys in that sitch just have an enormous load there to deal with. Not saying that to make you feel worse, sorry!! Just that you have some serious other things affecting your sitch. It's very sad, what that does to people, isn't it?
OM had a different deal, she was fighting to keep him, not get rid of him.
gosh you are nicer than I think I could be and it breaks my heart to hear what your D said.... I am struggling this week of how all this will effect my girls.... and how I'm going to handle it if it goes down the D path of not getting them every weekend and having to share that and holidays... not sure right now if I will even be able to handle this without medicating myself... but day by day right now...
What does your W say when you share that your kids don't want to be around OM? or that you don't like it? I know I'm probably about to be faced with this sooner than I think... I will die when he bring OW around my kids... but maybe they are all so selfish and sick that they just don't see it...
Love that she is quiting her job... lovely!!! hope OM is in for the ride ... I wonder if he knows that she has had 2 other A's before... why would he want to stick around... I find this still to be so temporary... I don't know... or they are just as sick.
H called tonight I handed phone straight to D and I guess he asked to talk to me ... I had nothing to say to him... he tried to get me to talk and I just sat there... and then cut him off... not rude just very matter fact.. I can't go there now... Last resort technique for now at least.. until my anger and hurt lift a little.
hang in there - always thinking and praying for you.
Me: 38/H:40 M:7yrs TG: 10yrs 2Girls: 4yr & 7 month old Bomb 8/22/08 OW/EA/PA 8/23/08 with 25yr old Moved out 9/22/08
Yes it is, i know i catch myself alot overlooking things that people that dont understand and think im stupid. Mybe it how we adapt i dont know. But it would be veryt interesting to honestly know how similar issues and problems we have in that sitch and how we have been handling them.
Me-39 STBXW-42 together 20yrs M-17 Kids-2 D-18 S-16 Bomb-96 Bomb-2005 bomb- 3/2008 for a year Separated 5/08 Filing in July Today.... Slowly learning a new life!
