When I checked my messages and heard that statement from H, I first though "are you freaking kidding me?! how can he say 'I'm sorry if you don't have patience to wait for me' when that's what I've been doing for over 2 years?!" Then I thought "Dar, it's a mind game and he's putting this in your head. He cried divorce when he was mad, then turned it around and blamed you for 'asking' for a divorce." Now though, I hear that statement and I thank God that H opened up and said this to me. It's what keeps me going on bad days (like the weekend cancellations). So it's all good in my eyes.
Sounds like you just need to keep that patience Dar...Glad he seems to be taking steps towards working on him....then the marriage..
I dont know what is up with my H, maybe a little of "i dont want you, but I dont want anyone else to want you either" fever!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I'm having a really crappy day today. Very emotional. I can't remember if I took my AD's and if not, then that would explain the mood. Maybe I'll go home on lunch and take one since I only do that much better with 2 (if I already took on this morning). I guess I'm on auto-pilot more than I thought.
H emailed at work letting me know he didn't mean to not call yesterday. He said he was pretty depressed after his IC appointment last night, but it wasn't me at all, he just couldn't talk at the time. I completely understand that and can accept that.
He also asked if we can do the pumpkin farm on Sunday. So that's a good thing. He'll see D tomorrow and then the 3 of us will spend the day together on Sunday. No expectations though for sure!
Hey FG!! Seems like a long time since I posted on your threads and other's as well. With working the way I am, I forget or am so tired that my eyes don't see straight, let alone think straight!!
Hugs to you.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Hi all, sorry I haven't posted much. Lots of bull going on here and I'm trying my darnest to stay out of it as much as I can. So instead of posting about it, I just don't and hope it goes away from me.
I'm tired of being stuck like I am. I see some improvement again but I want more. It sucks seeing H for 5 min while he drops D off at my place. I want more than 5 min. Sometimes there is, but sometimes not. Even after he leaves, I want to call him. But that's usually when things go downhill because I express how much this sucks. This female room mate is supposedly his room mate's gfriend, but I doubt it. He's out of town alot supposedly and she bought a card and cake for MY H over the weekend and had MY D, herself and the cat sign the card! No regular room mate does this, do they? H keeps telling me he's "trying so G.d hard to make his live right and be together again" but I feel he's pulling my leg. He says he's moving back to his parent's place the end of this month, but they supposedly knew nothing of this. He says it's because he told them he doesn't want to make a big deal out of this, but the surprise in their voices when I asked didn't sound like they knew at all. Who knows. I don't know why I'm like this. My mind is my worst enemy. I f's with me all the time. I can't get negative thoughts out of my head and it makes me want to question H even more. He's going to IC which is HUGE, I mean HUGE!, for him! I just don't know why I can't seem to let go/detach/go dark/etc to help me and my life right now. And that sucks! If someone can help with my thoughts then that would be great! I'm in this now for 2+ years and why am I still like this?????
