Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again Let him fly...

I agree. You don't need to get involved in another piece of real estate with him now. He can rent for a few months, get everything sorted out, and then if he can afford to buy, that's his business. The world is not there to fulfill every dream he has. That is his beef with things already. Do not continue to help him adjust the world to fit his desires. The boy has to grow up.

I agree with everyone else..and BBJ I know you are probably aware but when he finds out you won't help him with the loan..He will spew. It will really surprise me if he does not..

I told him if he wants to buy the house that is 3-4 blocks from our current home, fine. But we will have to set up a budget and see what all he will have to sell off first, in order to afford it....I replied via email so trust me there was no emotion in that reply....

He will only be more miserable. The house he is looking at has a one-car garage, it is priced $35K below the house I bought, is 10 years older, I think it has orange siding.....I don't know how his ego will let him buy it. This man makes 6 figures a year and will be living in the least expensive home we have ever owned except for the one we tore down to the studs in Iowa when he make 30K a year...

But as you all say, not my problem.

The thing about renting is we are a small farming community. The only apartments/homes for rent in our town are basically revolving-door meth labs. I know from my experience there is nothing to rent....he could rent a nice apartment in Omaha or Council Bluffs but that is 30 minutes away and the kids would be living out of our school district, with a 30 minute commute to school. Not gonna happen. So he can live with me, with his parents, in a meth lab/white trash house, or buy a house. Lucky him....

Mike he will be so pi$$ed when I don't want to co-sign. He will say that he cosigned on my (our) house in June, but we all know I told him I didn't even want him to! He will get angry and may even threaten to try and get his name off my/our current mortgage, but in the end he won't do it b/c it would hurt the kids if we lost our house....

I know he will. He will be pissed beyond pissed. He may break a hand this time. He will spew bad. By not signing you're blocking him. You're keeping him from doing what he wants to do. He will read your not signing as you trying to get back at him for him not working on the M..I'm willing to wager...

I also hope I'm really wrong and that won't happen. I hope he does not blow. I still say it's not in your best interest to co-sign anything without talking to a L WHO YOU RETAIN. If Dan wants to use the same L then fine but you make sure you pick and retain the L, that way the L works for you and not Dan..

I already told Dan that based on our incomes (he makes almost exactly 5x what I make), he will be paying most of the lawyer fees regardless.

He very well may break his hand. Wouldn't surprise me a bit...that's how kids act when they don't get what they want...

BobbiJo, I know you don't know me from Adam. I pretty much just lurk these days. I went through my D sitch almost 2 yrs ago (can't believe it's already been that long).

I have been reading your sitch for a few wks now. I just hate what has happened in the last few days. (I know you already have plenty of support, but . . . )

For some reason, your sitch reminds me a lot of mine, so I can remember how you must be feeling right now -- that horrible feeling in your stomach?!

As hard as it is going to be, you are going to have to make sure you just take care of yourself & your kids. I have boys about your childrens' ages (plus 1 more in the middle of the other 2).

I would also say don't co-sign anything until you speak w/ your lawyer. On the other hand, if it is going to help keeping him close and make it easier w/ the kids, then I guess you will have a decision to make there.

I lived w/ my WAS the entire D sitch time. It is very hard, but doable. It is very hard to do the detaching thing though, as others have told you already. You unfortunately have some practice on all of this, so maybe you will have an easier time (whatever easier may mean LOL)

I guess I just wanted you to know that there was one more "somebody" out there reading along & pulling for you and what is going to be best for you & the kids.

If you can get that few days away, that would be wonderful, but I don't see you leaving your kids right now either. Maybe getting a massage would be doable, or just having some quiet time at the house when no one is there.

BBJ,

Did your parents initially want to co-sign for you on your home. I think there is a strong possibility that he will want his name off of the mortgage. You need a plan B...just in case. Actually in the long run if you do get divorced, I would be very surprised that he keep his name on the mortgage.

BBJ,
I am so tired tonight but I want to check in with you. I read bits and pieces of your new thread. You are right about Dan acting like a child. One of my first grade students didn't get his way today so he cried and was hitting his head on the wall. Hopefully Dan and my student will mature quickly!

Good girl...don't sign anything. It will just further complicate matters.