Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Midwestern Girl 10/10/08

It is a place where they serve burgers, sandwiches, chicken, roast beef dinners, sundaes, shakes...........

People place their order at the counter and are given a number. They go sit where they want and when the food is ready, I deliver it to their table. Also, this place has a drive thru and we deliver to the cars as well.

Tomorrow I am the guest attendant which means I have to clean up as people come and go. That will be a huge job!

Hi MWG, wow that is dangerously high BP, did you take it for him? I cannot urge you enough for him to get medical help.



Could you not discuss ways of helping him with this? He was already in debt before he lost his job and as he is not even trying to get one,debt must be mounting up. Even credit card bills have to be paid at somepoint and as he is still paying all the bills its like a snowball going down hill.No wonder he is so stressed. He is caught up in a catch 22 situation and can see no end in sight.
Numb arms are a huge red flag / warning. I hope you can find a way to be pro active in finding a solution with your H with both his debt(which I guess is half yours as well)and his BP.
Our bodies only give us so many warnings before they give up.
Hope you have a quiet day at work and the cleaning up isn't so hard.
I guess you are just grateful you can work and relieve H of some money worries.
Take care.

He takes his own BP as we have a digital device in which to do this.

HIs debt. Much of it is because he put ow's rent on his credit card. I know, because I saw it when I was shredding his statements.

How can I help him when the amount I make is barely enough to cover the bills I was already paying and for groceries? It is very difficult to feed four people on one hundred dollars per week and also pay some of the bills. So no, I can only help by maybe paying one bill such as the water bill and that is it. Jobs are difficult to come by these days.

I cannot make him get medical treatment. We have discussed this and only he can go to the doctor.

The job I currently have is very physical and I have no breaks. My break consists of one minute just enough time to drink something and get back to work. There is never any sitting down for five minutes and I am constantly moving. Today I have to clean the tables, booths, floors, etc. for five hours straight. This place is non stop people and I have yet to see a time when the crowds let up.

I thought I was going to pass out yesterday as my feet were so bad and to think I do not have a day off this week is something I try not to think about.

Oh MWG, I am sorry, I didn't actually mean you pay the bills. I know how hard you are working and it cannot be easy. I really do sympathise. I was meaning more in the way of perhaps going over the bills and maybe seeing together if there was anyway to reduce some of them or perhaps get some financial aid.
Here in the UK I know there are people you can see who can help reduce debt especially interest on credit cards, loans etc that justkeep mounting up.

I just thought that by the two of you looking at your financial difficulties together, it might be away of getting him to see how bad the situation is, but that you are willing to help him in exploring different avenues so he doesn't feel so totally helpless and get more depressed.
As you have been posting about the hugs and kisses and his visits getting more frequent I thought that it might be a good time to do something different (180) and he might be receptive to it.
You really have enough to cope with and I hope you manage to put your feet up at some point, fingers crossed a more suitable job will come along whilst you are doing this one.I hope the girls are helping out more after your long days.They must see how tired you get.
I seem to have misunderstood at some point but I thought you have said in the past that your H still paid all the bills whilst living at OW's. I know it was a huge shock to you when you found the receipts that said he was paying rent at OW's.
I guess I was concerned for your health and just trying to think of ways you could be more proactive as well as your prayers.

M,
I'm very worried about you and your h's health right now. You both are under a lot of stress and there's not way to get away from it. Your h's BP and the numbness are signs of stress on the body and he needs to be in a physician's office pronto. Of course, I understand that there's nothing you can do to get him there. He's got to make that decision on his own. His debt, losing his job, living w/the ow...who is most likely putting pressure on him for money, home and the bills are all piling up around him.

For you, it's work, your h, the bills, home and trying to maintain a stable life for your children. How is your BP? Are you okay?

Please, please take care of yourself.

MWG,

Did you mean 150/105? Well that is a really bad bp. Numb arms is worse. He could have actually had a small heart attack already. But if not, he is in danger of having one or a stroke. He really needs to get to a DR. If nothing else, try putting on some soothing music, aroma therapy relaxation candles, etc while he is around your house. Anything to help him calm down. He doesn't really even have to know you are doing it. Watch him carefully please.

feeling really down this morning,
I have been doubting my faith and hope lately, I know it is the enemy who is doing this and I also know this journey is far from over,I found out he sent her flowers and could possibly be with him this weekend,he just recieved more money from his parents estate so I am sure he paid for her to come down.I try so hard and not be snoopy I have acess to his bank account without his knowledge of course,he bought something from FTD so I looked in there and of course it was the flowers website.

I found this out Friday when I did got in to see what he has been spending money on.I know it is wrong but curiosity got the best of me.I need to stop doing this.But I still love him so much, all I want is for him to open his eyes,but I know this is up to God,but I am only human..

When I was 22 yrs old,I left my first husband for another man, a married man at that,I never looked back, I did not know The Lord back then,and all I wanted was what I wanted and it was not my husband of 8 yrs. I left,my children,my husband my family,so in a way I know what lies ahead I never once called my X to see if he was ok, my entire family took him in because I was the one who was a WAS,for 5 years I had this affair with this married man,he promised me the world, he was separated, then he would return and so on this went on for 5 long years,but as far as my X being on my mind he was the furthest thing from it.
So this saddens me because I have been there,

I was really happy with my new boyfriend buying him gifts and anything else could afford to buy his love,had a lot of heartaches while with him,but in the end after i guess of him being this way with his wife and family for 10 yrs or so he and his wife finally reconciled he made everthing better for her, which now that I see the pain she must of been in. how she must of prayed that one day god would bring him back home so I know that they will open their eyes and repent i sometimes wonder if this is why I am going thru this, some sort of payback.

I have asked God to forgive me for all I have done wrong in this life and that was one of those sins and I know I have been forgiven but it was something I am not proud of. But this lets me know what a long hard struggle I am in for and it reminds me of my past with this married man. i t was not all happy i missed being married,my kids,my family.

Just needed to vent and just talk to someone in here who really cares and knows what I am going thru.

thanks for listening and for your prayer .

just having a pity party today, God bless you

Hi, all.

My h is very much aware of his medical condition. His mom was a nurse so he knows full well about heart attacks and strokes. His grandfather died of a stroke.

Yes, h and I have gone thru our bills together but still, there is not much I can do to help and make it any easier. Most of this he brought on himself. Most of that debt is ow's rent which he put on credit, and the job loss, he created that, too, by telling the new boss he will not do things her way and she fired him as a result.

My BP has been okay but yes, I am under a great deal of stress because this job is very physical. Here I am this morning and my feet really hurt badly and I have to be at work in a few hours and be there for five hours.

I cannot believe they have me working so much without a day off.

I honestly think H needs to make a decision about his lifestyle as that would eliminate at least half of the stress.

MGW-it doesn't sound to me like H is ready to make a decision but talking about the finances may actually be a very good start. He had to know that telling his boss he would not do it her way would lead to trouble. Hopefully after you have been at this job for a while your feet will hurt less. When I went back to waitressing after taking a few years off, it took a while to not ache so much.

Talking about the finances show you are a team and that is something they face very slowly.

H and I have been able to talk about many things for a long time now.

OW has always been a topic he never discusses with anybody. It's like she is something that is stuck in the closet forever. The kids never met her and he has no intention of that happening and he has told me how he hates it over there, is miserable.

The two older kids told me lastnight that he is definitely not happy over there and S18 said it is quite obvious that R is/was a no go from the beginning.

I remember a text h sent me which said: Lord, deliver me from the evil "b" I live with.

Well, I think God is really working on h and he is at the bottom swimming but cannot get up. And I know God uses illness also. Remember Charlyne's husband, Bob? Strokes and heart attacks? My h's problems are no surprise to me.