Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Midwestern Girl 10/10/08

MWG I think your h is in a deep depression. It's easy to look from the outside and say you should do this and you should do that. That's the easy part.

It takes a much stronger soul to dig deep and have the stance and patience that you do. You have been a huge inspiration for me. This is exactly why D is rampant.

Without God showing me unconditional love I would have given up a long time ago. None of this whole journey is easy, but you are right what works for one may not work for another. What one's idea of what another should put up with may not fit with the other's ideas.

It is so true, when you take matters in your own hands, the progress does go backward.

Hugs!

Amen to that Glam & MWG!!! We have to let God take control, I know I'm the worst to worry about everything & try to figure it out on my own but I can't. God has to do that!!

((((HUGS))))

Beautifully said Naej.

Midwestern Girl, God sends messages in many ways - including perhaps in Naej's caring words.

Take care, and blessings to you and yours.

Virginia

MWG,
Hope you are doing better today! Is your S being better behaved now that his friend is out of there?

Thinking of you!

Peace,
Dawn

Yes, my son is much, much better now that his friend is gone. You would think a different kid was living here. It has been a major improvement.

Wow, I got into the car and guess what, the gas tank was full. Have not seen that in months. S decided to keep it full at all times.

Had D15's birthday on Sunday. Of course I had to work but H took her out as she wanted to get a few things with some birthday money she received. H got me some epsom salt, and he will come over Tuesday or Wednesday to do some grocery shopping for me. I have to work everyday so this will be a huge help. The way it has been working out is when I come home, S is on his way to work with the car. As a result, I don't get to do much but that is okay as my feet are not up to it.

Numb arms are usually a sign of a blockage in the arteries. That coupled with high BP is very serious. I know you know all of that and I know you've said that your H knows all of that but have you actually pointed out to him that this could be fatal? Perhaps it's shock treatment he needs right now just to get his to act on his own behalf.

MWG- Your h's health problems are very serious. I know you said that he knows that, but does he also know that his kids need him alive and healthy? How hard is it to go see a doctor and start meds to lower his BP? This is one issue that I wouldn't be afraid to be pushy and b*tchy about.

Hi MWG-
Statistics show that people who are married are healthier and live an average of 10 years longer than singles. I guess nagging wives can serve some purpose. Maybe you should share that statistic with your H while you are nagging him to go see a doctor.

My H's blood pressure has increased since he moved out and he is now on medication. He does acknowledge that he was healthier when we were together and he knows about the statistic. There is one more reason to add to the list of why he should come home.

Hi, all.

Nagging, telling h what to do, giving ultimatums, etc do not work. It puts "me" in charge and makes h feel more pressured. Who wants a nagging and controlling spouse anyways?

If I did these things, it defeats my purpose for allowing God to take control. I do have very strong opinions that if we interfere in God's work, it backfires.

My H knows right from wrong, and he knows what he needs to do to get better.

With all of that said, I am allowing God to work here.

I agree. When I tell H anything right now medical, I try to relate it to whatever is working for me and let him live with the info. He can do with it whatever he is guided to do.

My H too can't deal with nagging, etc... Says doesn't need another mother.