Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? A good feeling has come over me!!

wow! i found the positive section here!!!
im going to watch the secret again too you guys are so contagious and happy!

sep- im trying to cath up with you....sounds like you are totally backing off with H and he is taking the lead with any R talk...thats very good! you really are shining through this world!! ya hoooo

Thank you Pisces!!!!

The Secret has felt like a real eye opener!!

I have been doing really well with GAL, working at Ikea and with all these people in my own age group has certainly helped to improve that. I have made new friends and actually have a pretty good social life now....lol.

I have received a call back on the job interview that I went to last week so I will see how that goes. I have decided that if I do get this job I will still hang on to the pt job as extra income is always good and I can do more than just get afloat and actually start saving again...plus the discount doesn't hurt!!

Communications with H has been on & off the last few days. I'll get a text here and there and thats about it. At least he is still keeping in contact. I was thinking of trying to not answer his text the next time I get one. I have never ignored any text he has sent no matter how silly or small the topic...I think I want to test the waters to see how he responds to not getting a response. Is that bad? I mean it would be a 180 for me.

ITH~ I put the letter in my wallet!! Hopefully I will have the same luck as you. Oh Oh and my book should come in today!!!

well one thing my DB coach said to me was to not play games- that if H contacted me to reply- its ok to wait a little and be busy- but i would reply....im not sure though if you think it would be a 180....maybe its a good thing to try once and see?

if he doesnt reply- thats his deal- you can consitantly be nice

also- i initiated most of my H's and my contact- he reciprocated. i asked my DB Coach if shouldnt do it as much- and she said if he wasnt reciprocating then yes- but it was working so continue to do it!

what has been working for you guys?

im very happy you are a social butterfly! dont spend all your dough at Ikea- that can be done very quickly.

Good point Pisces! I thought too for a second that it might seem like game playing..I only considered it because I do not always get a response to my texts.

Oh I know not to spend all my $ there, lol. I just want to take advantage of having the discount and get new furniture in the bedroom and livingroom as it is something that is needed now anyway. I mean I have but my bed set is over 12 years old & the dresser is finally falling apart..lol and my couch's cushions are flat now!!

I guess we are all hanging out here at the same time...

I was on my way to a dog show in NJ for today (my GAL activity), took the wrong road, didn't figure it out in time, so came back home. OH well. I hate NJ roads!

I have a question- a lot of posters talk about the other world- I am assuming FB. How do you get there when you can't post personal info here?

Oh- and I agree- match his efforts to contact you. I know sometimes we'd like to kind of stick it to them to make them wonder- but I try to remember- treat H as well as you would a friend (even though they aren't treating us as well as they would a friend).

Hi Opt,

What I was told, and that worked in terms of FB, was to look up Kalni Sunshine. Then you will have all the info you need...

ITH

OP you were in NJ today? Woo Hoo!! LoL. It's not as bad as it seems I feel no matter where I drive I will always eventually hit a route # and then be able to figure out where I am..lol.

Ok no not responding to his texts. Actually now that I think about it I did do this once but accidentally because my phone was left at my desk & I was in a meeting all morning and he got aggitated that I was not responding...lol.

Yeah I agree with the others on responding to the text. In your case there is no OW, or outwardly hostile behavior, so I would reward his contact. Could be that he already feels really guilty, and if you don't get back to him, he might feel even worse...

ITH

I am heading to the gym in a while- I could use the energy rush. Haven't worked out in a while. I am feeling so much better today though.

I was weak last night and finally called my H around 9pm to chat-invited him over if he didn't have other plans- he said he'd see how tired he was (ie- probably see if something else was going on). I am not going to let that bother me since I have so many other positive things I can do- have to read more of the secret.

Have to live the secret! This board is soo great. I don't know what i'd do without it. No one else in the real world quite understands what we are going through- and the path we have taken to save our marriage.

Oh- and I ventured over to FB- found ITH- are you there Sep?

Hmmm never thought about it that way ITH....very good posibility. I know he does feel guilty about the current sitch. Ok def no ignoring texts maybe only waiting a few min to respond just so I don't seem so eager for his communication.