Just got home from a 6 day meeting in Palm Springs last night, it was fantastic. It felt great getting away and really enjoying life. Went to the gym once or twice a day and did a little partying with some very good people. The weather was amazing! 95 degrees during the day and 60 at night.
For some reason, on the way home I started feeling a bit sad. Downtime on long plane rides can be tough. I started thinking about how I missed coming home to my beautiful house and being greeted by my 7 year old daughter. She would also yell "daddy," and then search my bags for a surprise. She always knew I would bring something back for her. What a cute kid.
I feel could about the divorce being final and I do not miss my ex at all. I miss my home and my daughter. Fortunately we are seeing each other quite often and she is doing great.
The big thing that is holding me back from getting on with my life is that I still pay the mortgage on a home that is not selling. It is a real beauty, but it is very difficult to sell an expensive home in this market.
My therapist says, "leave this one to the universe." It is a beautiful home in a great neighborhood that will "eventually" sell. From a financial perspective is a wash because I do not pay child support or rent until the home sells.
I just cannot believe that I am still in a position where I must "crash" with a friend. I really want my own place, but cannot afford to pay rent on an apartment and the mortgage on our home. I really feel "boxed" in.
I really attractive woman has reached out to me about dating and I am still a little reluctant because I do not have my own place.
Hey Fish. Sorry to see you here, but updating/venting will help you work through your feelings.
I was in the same boat on the house. XH didn't help with any of the bills so I shouldered all the financial responsibility. A couple of months post bomb I moved to another state and put my house on the market. It took 11 months to sell!!! I feel it held me back from really moving on as I was (and still am for two more months) living with my mom. It is hard when you don't have your own space. It starts getting closterphobic.
The only advice I have is....this too shall pass. It is hard, but the house will sell eventually. Just be prepared to wait it out. Is your W living in the house? Is she paying anything? I gather that paying the mortgage is your child support.
About the woman...does she know your situation? Does she live alone? Can the friend that you live with give you a night alone?
Fish, I feel your need for your own space, just be thankful you have a place to be (not saying yr not).
After my house sold (quickly- two weeks). AND the fact X and I barely got any profit ( X was behind so we owed more). I had to move in w/ my mom (UGH) & my three kids into one room. Talk about not having any personal space!!! Two matresses on the floor , kids not wanting to go to bed on time(slumber party)!! AND mom listening to my every phone convo..... FOUR of us into one room....
Yeah now the girls say 'mom I feel like we r living in a hotel!
Fish, here's a novel approach, date the woman but don't bang her! It's OK not to have your own place to take her to. In fact, this may actually give you the opportunity to really get to know her. Just a thought!
You guys are the best. I appreciate the positive spin that we can put on each other's situations.
My house is vacant right now! My x and daughter were living there until the nut job got the idea to move into NYC and clear out the contents of the house. Right now I pay the mortgage in lieu of child support.
Living with my buddy has enabled me to be closer to friends and family which really helped me get through this nasty little situation.
So I guess I just have to be patient and be appreciative for what I have.
If it is vacant...can you live in it? I understand this may not be a possibility...or you would probably already be doing it. My house was vacant the whole time it was on the market. My selfish xh lived with OW and paid her rent rather than him living in our house and paying for the mortgage. He wanted to let it forclose. Nice.
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Living with my buddy has enabled me to be closer to friends and family which really helped me get through this nasty little situation.
This is the positive spin on the situation you find yourself in. Try to keep looking for the positives.
The house will sell, but it will probably take a while.
