Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again Don't know what to do- Please help

I don't know if you have shown him the email. I would. I think it will break his addiction to her. Maybe he will see how ugly the whole thing is.

It sure made me see how ugly she is.

I know, not productive, but what a pathetic troll.
just sayin'

She wants you to dump him, you know. She may not want him, but she wants to hurt him because he didn't leave you. You don't owe her jack, limbo, why do you think you should confirm anything?

I have shown him the email, I did that as soon as i got it, and for awhile it was touch and go between us. He said that it would be better for him to leave because he has brought all of this on us.
And I did get angry, and I called him a coward, because when it gets tough its easier to run.
But he is still here and saying he wants us, and is still planning on contacting the c.
I have told him how much crap I have going on in my head, and how I am trying to make some sort of sense of it all.
I know she is a troll, and I know she is just playing some sick game, but what if there is some truth to this, as I told him in all honesty your actions in the last 2 years have shown me you don't want the marriage, that maybe he just wants me to pull the trigger, because then I would take the blame for ending the marriage.
I told him that this time is going to be the hardest to come back from, because i have trusted him over and over again, and I still keep getting hit, and I just can't keep doing it.
To be honest I feel like such a loser because I am still here, I still fight, for what to keep getting hit with this.
I have so much to work through and its so hard.

As far as confirming, he owes her money, and if I confirm she goes away, if I don't she I guess wount go away, so I am going to do it, but then no more, because i know she will just keep back otherwise, if that makes any sense!

Thanks again all...you guys are life savers!

I completely, 100% agree. And she wants to hurt you, too. Don't listen to a word she says.



I'd reconsider confirming, too. Sounds like she wants to be in control. Why give her that satisfaction? However, it's your decision.

Joie you are right, and I am going to reconsider, and talk to H and decide whats the best thing to do.

I just want her to go away! I am just so tired of it all!

I have been following along here--

Who's to say that you confirm it is you (how can you do that, by the way? Tell me you aren't meeting her!), and after you confirm it's you she may STILL want the money??

Do you have a contract or something? I would not trust a cheating, lying, manipulative OW troll with anything. Just sayin'....

And my mom has been telling me that the day the OW comes out swinging and trying to get my attention is the day she realizes it is really over w/my H. Hasn't happened to me, but maybe that is what is happening to you. She has lost her grip on him so she wants to make sure you do, too.

I would give her zip zero nada response. She is looking for one and anything you give her, she feeds on. If she really wants to be left alone, why the repeated contact?

To heck with her......

Limbo,

I agree with Bobbijo - every contact you have with OW shows her just how much she has got to you and makes her feel good.

She was obviously very emotionally involved, whatever she claims about who chased who, otherwise she would never have started lending money. She is not your problem to deal with. Both you and your H should block her emails. She must have known when she lent him the money there was little chance of getting it back.

What's important is you, your H, and your children. I know the way the OW portrays you hurts....but hey....she has shown how good she is at interpreting events....look at her version of taking the high ground!!!! What matters is that deep down inside you know the truth.

STOP interacting with OW - she is feeding off the drama.

(((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

Thanks

I have been waivering alot on this, but you have made me decide not to you are right.
I was going to email her from work, as she then knows its not H pretending to be me.
I have no plans to meet her, as that probably would result in prison time for me!!!
I have also not asked for the emails, I don't need to see them, and I know they would hurt to read them.
What you are saying makes sense to me that she knows she has lost him and now she is going to hurt us anyway she can.
And Saffie, I had thought the same thing about the high road!! if she had taken that then we wouldn't be here today!

You know I could just slap my H silly for getting us into this! For hurt our family in this way!

I feel like we are back to day one again!

I can imagine how frustrated you are feeling with your H.

I know that I used to feel my H was so immature and emotionally juvenile when it came to the OW and I couldn't believe how much he loved having his ego stroked

Hang on to the thought that if your H did really want to leave you he has had plenty of opportunity to.....and he hasn't. That is what you have to go by.

OW is a woman scorned, (ha ha!!!!!!), and they are nasty and vindictive often. I am really pleased you have decided to not contact her because you are very unlikely to hear anything truthful from her.