This is totally how I feel too! I'm sure everyone doesn't need to hear about what I've accomplished at work every day or how D3 is getting to be such a saucy girl.. or what books I'm reading.
I'm just kind of living my life.. and I'm comfortable.. even happy a lot of the time (even though I'm in limboland).
I get where you're coming from K.. I wouldn't want to be the bad guy to the kids either (when you know they don't understand the dynamics and don't care about them.. they just want Mommy and Daddy together again).
Everything was so much fun, so wonderful, so perfect on your trip.. and then you come back to reality (now with an extra twist from the connection made).
No one says you have to resolve it. The Spouse police aren't going to arrest you if you don't tap in to what is unsettling you or him.
You are free.. Free to choose what you want in life.
You love your children. You love life. You are extraordinary.
You know you don't have to fix him, nor should you.
And you're excellent at looking into your soul to see what you need.
What do YOU need (not want, not feel obligated, feel pressured)?
I love you.
*hugs*
PS.. I got the oddest thought.. isn't that how he used to act with you after he came back from a trip? Like you once told someone.. It's like the love between cats and dogs.
Kalni, Thanks for stopping by to wish me luck. My W is half Greek her Dad is from Athens. Don't worry about your English being "hairy" I have some hilarious stories about my FIL messing his translations or the pronunciation. My Ws Mom is from Bavaria. So I married a women who is conflicted from the get go. Half fun loving, no worries Greek paired up with uptight, rules bound German. My W's grandfather still has a apartment in La Plaka over a ice cream shop. Cheers - I meant OPA!
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Hey Kalni, I love Gypsys post! And that is a good point, maybe it was harder to come back to it and have him in your house, acting up. I did notice you said about Idaho and you've been pretty quiet about it all (as your thread says!), but if there really is something there, then I am happy for you! Piscean heaven...
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Hi guys, my thread says quiet but I think the this board should be called "quiet", at least the last few days... Let's see if people will resurface again now that the weekend is over...
My weekend wasn't that great. My dad was admitted in the hospital again late Saturday night. Some kind of implication that should "be operated" but in his condition they will not do it. So they are trying to get it fixed with medication etc. I am trying to be positive but really cant. I am not negative either, I just accept the possibility of things turning out very bad sooner than expected. But I am still hoping for a break.
Thank you all for your posts. Right when I started over analysing, this issue came up with my dad and gave me the right perspective. Life has a way...
Gypsy, you are right. I dont have to do anything. The only thing I have to do is find my peace of mind and protect it. Through the various phases I have been through, I have been dealing with issues as I have said before, closing each issue and moving to the next. I have realised that after a whole year of separation with celebrations, anniversaries, birthdays etc behind me, I am not afraid anymore of weak moments. I know I can handle everything. But I am impatient and feel like since I have paid my dues I want to feel completely free from my xH. And I realise I am not. That's what bothers me.
I guess I need to accept that I am stuck with him for life and must find a way to deal with his inability to work with schedules regarding our kids. Plus I need to slowly and patiently train him to stay away from me and not count on me as his "wife on hold" or closest friend. And make him understand my house is not his. Am I asking for too much?
Ali, my trip was wonderful. I dont know if it was Pisceans heaven the way you mean it, but I think being with someone talking openly about Xs, kids, feelings, concerns about the future without worrying that person misunderstands you is a great feeling. Being able to laugh and have fun doing simple things like having dinner or a Starbucks coffee felt great. Especially if that someone has a great big hug and is funny and witty and since we both knew a lot about each other and where we come from. Unfortunately we didnt have enough time and unfortunately that ocean is making sure we dont do anything crazy like move to Lake Como or Tuscany as we have been dsicussing for months now. The fisher man option is still open though... LOL!!!
Coach, thanks for stopping by. Stay away from this forum though, just visit and leave quickly... Piecing seems more fit for you. (That place your W's grandfather owns, is worth alot of money you know?)
W2G, nice to see you!! I am glad you seem to have reached a stable place.
So sorry to hear about your Dad. I'm thinking of you bth.
I don't think you're asking too much to be free of your H, or to have your own home, or for him to not lean on you as his closest friend/wife. I think you're entitled to that. I guess the question is how to acheive the goal in a solution based way. Do you have a plan?
