Andrea - sounds like maybe he's getting depressed again and you are reacting to that? I went through a period of just feeling angry and unsettled with H - couldn't figure out why, since things seemed to be going so well by that time - then over the next month it became obvious that his depression had returned. Once he started on antidepressants again - he felt much better - and suddenly all MY uncomfortable thoughts went away. I think I was just picking up his feelings and reacting to them without even knowing it.
As for household money - is there a way you two can set up a budget, a certain amount goes to you every week to run the household, so you don't have to ask every time?
I am a writer and radio producer, so... after quiting my last job as production manager in a radio station i am working on my own proyects writing some micro-programs for radio and offering to some clients... About an specific ammount he can give me each month for home spendings, this is a back step move for him bc before the last separation he had agrred with me with that behavior and he always gave me an pecific ammount of money each month... only that economic situation of him is not the same as the last year so, he is being more ahorrative right now... so, i will understand he give me less ammount of money, but i cant accept me asking him each day if he can give me money... About him being depress, yes, maybe he is not depress but too much stressed... and that is reflexting in his mood towards me... let see... thanks being care about me... andrea
Andrea, You are going through a tough time. Your H is going through a tough time. This is marriage. Let your actions reflect that you love him. I know it's hard not to get caught up in his moods. Think of him as your best friend, and treat him with care. I know this sounds like putting your own feelings aside, but it's not. I don't preach, but read the chapter on love in the Bible-Corinthians, chapter 13.. All I know is it helps me put things into perspective. It's still not easy. You will have to be strong now because it appears he is weak. Will you be his tower of strength? I'm saying this because it is something positive to think on. There is alot of negative thinking going on. This can only be destructive in the long run. I don't have the answers Andrea, but I know my H is weak in so many areas, and not what I would like him to be. It's so easy to take it personally-like he does not care enough about you. I know it seems so. You know your H. This sounds like the same things you have always said about him. When he came back, were you prepared to except him as he was, or were you thinking that he had changed? Your disappointment shows in your posts. Can you live with this man through this crisis? Will you see it through? It may seem I am taking his side. I'm not. I'm trying to be mutual. I'm only asking hard questions that we all have to face when we take these men back. They rarely meet our expectations. Will we meet theirs? I know you want him to think on you, as you think on him. Perhaps he isn't able right now. Perhaps he won't ever live up to your expectations. Andrea...think things through. Take care of yourself, and consider his needs now as well as your own. You are not wrong in your thinking, just honest with how you are feeling. I hear your frustration, and empathize with your sitchuation. It's not an easy place to be. It's not all a bed of roses when they return is it? Think on ways to take care of yourself and your needs right now. I wish I had answers to give to you, but all I can offer is my support. You have what it takes to find your way....Rachael
KML: exellent idea...!! So.. yesterday night was similar of last 2 nights... we talk only the necessary, we got slept, etc etc... but today at morning, when he wake up, he hug me and began doing me lovely touch...!!... he will never ask for apologyze in words, this is just his way to say... hey i am sorry, lets forget everything, i dont want to be mad with you...!!... so, i answer to his touchs... and we began toalking as enything had happened...!!... I think, and this put me mad, that maybe he needs to be well with me bc the money i received from my prestation work yesterday... but he didnt asked me for that, and i gave him mayself the money... Yes, he can be so stress RMC... is not an easy situation, and yes, i know this man since many many years.... Well, i dont have too much to write right now bc i am going to pick up my baby girl at school, thanks for all the support, and i will write soon.. andrea
Well... lets beguin writing again the positive steps looking for maintaining a PMA toward my R.... 1. He agreed going all the familly to movie on saturday... in the past he used to stay at home only looking TV and me ocuppying of all the plans of my children... when we began seing again, he began doing this things with me, he stopped, and on saturday he accepted and we share a beautifull saturday at cinema... 2. He seems to enjoy too much my presence, my talks and conversation... and he is always open to talk too.. 3. I am less critic and more affective althpugh he is not too much affective... and it seems he likes that...!! 4. I am more thiner and he is noting that... yesterday i wear a beautifull bikini at beach...!! 5. We are talking about the future as a whole familly and things that ae important for us in the future..
I'm just catching up with you -- wow -- so much activity, so much progress, and much much love in your family.
I am happy for you -- and give you gold stars and smiles and a bowl of strawberries for your wonderful work. Exemplary! As I follow my own little plan I will remember your efforts and be strong, too.
I have not posted a lot lately, but things are going well for me. Many steps toward healing.
My Redhead is overcoming his misery -- I can see him "get a life" again. He is comfortable with me as a pal. He invited me to his place, had pastries to serve when I arrived, and was pleasant and happy there.
It was hard to look around and see his life without me is established -- and colorful -- and creative. Ouch.
But (like you) I re-focus on what works, what continues our good relating, on me and MY CREATIVE LIFE. It is a physical struggle sometimes, isn't it?
Your outline is something I will copy -- thank you thank thank you for being inspiring and being "in training" -- you show us all how to succeed.
Thanks kitty for stopping by mt thread... Bridget, it is always nice to know about you, why dont you post in this thread...?... i will try to catch your thread over helpfullness.... Well, this are the positives for today at morning 1. h ask me this morning if i need money... 2. Yesterday night was so communicative, talking about his work, wishes, etc... and asking me to help him in some stuff of his work...
