it's only emails, daily chit chat and glances Arthur. There are possibilities. I want let it go EA/PA simply because I will not be OM. it is against what I believe and how I am
Yep, I have no doubt how you are, but what is this telling you about her? If she'll do it with you, she'll do it to you. This says she's lining her back pocket with another man so she doesn't have to be alone, IMHO. You are a great guy and do not deserve to be the OM. Absolutely not. I wouldn't communicate with this chick until she's available. I see flags....
AO
Yes, I have thought about that AO. She told me she noticed me over a year ago. She says she did not approach me then because she thought I was out of her league and she was out of my league a year ago because my league was married and technically my league is still married..on paper anyway. She knows the deal. Like I said, it's chit chatty emails now and a daily hello. I see her everyday. She is where I work so no communication would be a problem...and I see some flags too..that's why I bring my chitt here..
I've questioned whether I'm sitting myself up for a fall and making sure that I don't.
Just that statement shows awareness - a very good thing. We all come out of this D stuff bruised and battered, looking for validation. Needed reassurance that we are OK - that can only come from the opposite sex. (this is a lesson taught to me by a wise friend who has been my rock). Getting that validation is good and necessary.
But that doesn't stop us from worrying about you.
AO
I can understand that..I don't think I needed reassurance that I would be OK. I did have an idea how all this D crap would come out due to having rode that bull before so I knew I would be OK. It is nice to be noticed.
I'm taking a watch and wait attitude AO. I see her daily, I'm pleasent. I am showing her the kind of man I am. I'm a good guy, not a villian. Would never play the OM. She knows I can't fix the sitch she's in and knows I won't rescue her..so the balls in her court...
I'm just sitting in the stands at the moment, watching the game.
You guys post more as you want about this..I like hearing and seeing your thoughts and ideas..I learn a little every time you guys post.
Hey bro as we have talked about, you are doing it correctly. You have been honest and up front with her, stated your position, told her what you feel is acceptable and what is not. You have set boundaries so to speak with her. Right now you are just being a friend and respecting her I am sure she appreciates it. Only time will tell what direction this might take and we all have nothing but time, still doesn't mean you don't keep your options open.
Sounds as though you are being the man you want to be with her and that's really awesome, I'm sure it feels good to apply what you have learned and changed and actually see positive results.
Been following along....this is a tough one. I agree with alpha on the go slow and what does that tell you about her issue. She, you, we can always find something better...the question is should we be looking for people who are willing to build something or throwing it away when they see something better. Of course we don't have all the details and it is easy for me to be saying this becasue cafe girl is not interested in me. Maybe a few years ago, i would have said go for it, what do you have to lose? Today......I would say keep your distance and even if she does dump her boyfriend.....that is the time when you will really have to slow it down. Nice to be noticed though!
I agre John. It is a tough call. That's whay I bring it here. I could have just not shared that but wanted all opinions. I can miss things. We all do. It's good to have more eyes looking at things.
all we can be is open and honest Mike and leave the rest to fate and the big man upstairs. What is meant to be is meant to be. You could meet someone else tomorrow as I'm not sure what this DBing does to us men, but it sort of gives us some sort of super after shave type attraction thing I'm sure !!!
I am pretty blown away that she approached me. That's a first in my life..I've never had a woman just approach me..
I hope cafegirl34 is the real deal.
I'm nervous about girls who approach me first.
My W approached me and I resisted. She was fairly incessant and I finally buckled due to the pressure. Not to mention that she was 24, HOTTT, and never been married. Now she's approaching OM.
I am pretty blown away that she approached me. That's a first in my life..I've never had a woman just approach me..
I hope cafegirl34 is the real deal.
I'm nervous about girls who approach me first.
My W approached me and I resisted. She was fairly incessant and I finally buckled due to the pressure. Not to mention that she was 24, HOTTT, and never been married. Now she's approaching OM.
well maybe then I have a batchiit magnet attached to my assss..of course the two I was M'd to before never approached me..and TBH I'm not looking for the real deal just yet..
Last edited by M from Tennessee; 10/03/0803:17 PM.
I'm giving this to you full square out because you seem to be asking for it.
About cafegirl34? Don't run a tab.
Where is your mind at? Yes, it's great to be noticed. Yes, the strokes to the ego are divine. You say something about all the guys in the area are after her and she chose you? HelllooOOO... boyfriend alert. Where is he in this picture?
Forget longing looks, being the guy in the wings. DBing her, lots of emails.. is she talking to you more than she is to her boyfriend about her situation? If so.. hello inappropriate friendship. The person she has to deal with is him. You aren't her brother, a long time friend. Ohh.. you mean y'all are just sharing notes back and forth, looking forward to seeing something in your email from her? HellooOOoOo.. she's in a relationship. You're a guy she's attracted to and vise versa because she approached you!
Run...
Run while you can!
Look at the menu all you want, but keep your diet bland bland bland. You're still suffering from that bad case of food poisoning and bat chitt crazy stuff.
Buddy.. give yourself time.
Now.. if she deals with her stuff (without you being her coach or confidant) and resolves it and approaches you as a single woman.. then that shows something.
