Hey Dawn...You know my H was affectionte to me somewhat last night when he brought the kids home. He knew about how bad my day had been and gave me a hug. But that was it. But it was nice that he cared. I know he cares and is just a mixed up individual. BUT I dont think I could do what you are doing. But then again, Im not in that sitch. My life is more peaceful with him on the outside.
Hi, Kissa, Well, at least you know your H cares...that's something, anyway. I think mine subconsciously wishes I would just go ahead and kill myself, even though my suicidal depression was one of the things that always bothered him the most about me. His life would be SO much easier (and OW would be so much happier!) if I would just go POOF! He acts like he hates me but wouldn't be so uncouth as to say so.
My life is more peaceful when he's not around too, even when I know he's busily bonking OW, but I have no plans to show him the door. He is decision-challenged, and I am not going to make it for him. If I did, he would undoubtedly find a way to blame me. As it is, he has managed to avoid touching me in any intentional way in over a month, even though we not only live in the same house, but sleep in the same bed. Absolutely and utterly ridiculous.
Okay, here I go hijacking your thread again...sorry, need to do my venting on my own thread.
So sorry to hear about new OW in your sitch! I would like to think that if she is a missionary, and if she has any brains, she wouldn't touch him with a 20-foot pole if she knew about the ties he has to you. No guarantees, of course (how many people in adulterous relationships sit in churches on any given Sunday? Probably enough to fill quite a few stadiums! Or would that be stadia??!).
Peace and Blesings Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
I have heard that adultery committed by those going to church or in the clergy is very high.
Of course we are all humans and the thing is so many feel that since people go to church, they would never do such a thing. However, it is something that can happen to anyone regardless what they believe.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I have heard that adultery committed by those going to church or in the clergy is very high.
Of course we are all humans and the thing is so many feel that since people go to church, they would never do such a thing. However, it is something that can happen to anyone regardless what they believe.
MWG, Unfortunately, that is quite true. I think maybe religious people just feel more guilty and more compelled to hide it, perhaps? Not that I've taken a survey or anything...ICK! People of faith don't exactly have a corner on the market for moral behavior...
If everyone could walk the walk as well as they/we talk the talk, the world would be a much better place, wouldn't it?
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Well, I know a former preacher who left his wife of 25 years for the piano player. Of course that never worked out and he has recently just married a woman who was accused of killing her husband...I just heard they are starting a church.
What are they thinking?
We had a female member of our church leave her family for a married man who was a pastor and principal of a christian school, they are said to be happily living together now in sin. We as a church excommunicated her. Our church looks down on things like that. We still love the sinner, just hate the sin.
So, its everywhere. My H said this girl, wasnt going to be a missionary when she got back. She was not going to be doing that any more. He said she will have a drink on occassion and she knows he is separated from me and he is living in a camper.
ANd she still wants to go out with him. She is beautiful. Makes me sick. I even asked if that is why he went to church Sunday? He laughed and said no. He hasnt even spoken to her yet. Only through the computer.
Im hoping that when she gets back to the states, some good looking christain man will snap her up! She seems too much like me in a way. Good christian girl....my H and her I doubt would last. He would have to change too much.
Well, I definitely have to go back on my diet now! SHe is like all of a size 2 and 6 ft tall!
Im gonna cry again.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
By the way, she isnt any type of missionary my church would ever support. Besides, she was helping sick kids in Africa. Our missionaries are ones sent out to help spread the word of God to help people come to know the Lord.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I haven't posted to you before but just saw this, and felt compelled.
She may be beautiful, tall, thin whatever, maybe this woman is also nice, intelligent etc., BUT at the end of the day if she tries to get involved with your H, KNOWING he is married, then there is something wrong with her moral compass.
I wouldn't try to compete with her by dieting etc. YOU are a good person who is not looking to get involved with other women's H's. This is what puts you miles ahead of her in any lineup.
I am really sorry that you are going through this. I can't even fathom how painful it must be. I just hope you will remember that this OW isn't the problem, it is your H. You are not the problem either.
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Thank you ITH....my H even told me that. He said this girl wasnt prettier than me, we were equal and that there wasnt nothing wrong with me, it was him.
So, what's wrong with him?
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
What's wrong with all of our H's? Mine says that I am the "perfect girl". He is attracted to me, likes my personality the whole 9-yards, but now it's about him and he "doesn't know if he wants to be married." I think this is classic. I really wish I did know what was wrong with them all so we could give them an injection or a pill or something, just really don't know...
I just hope that your H comes to his senses before he loses you!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Mine once said, "you are a beautiful, caring and wonderful woman...just not the beautiful, caring and wonderful woman for me".
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
People of faith don't exactly have a corner on the market for moral behavior...