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Ms. Jen..

My deepest and most heartfelt condolences to you and your daughter during this tragic time.

My spouse's older brother had always been a schemer, dreaming big plans, having them fail. Through his poor choices and alcoholism he lost his marriage, access to his only child, a daughter, and shunned his siblings and parents. Every now and then he would want to see my husband. They slowly formed a bond as brothers, rather than my husband being an extension of their parents' deriding voice.

Twelve years ago, my husband's brother's life was going downhill. The severe alcohol abuse was deteriorating his organs and enzymes though the doctor said it would be a very slow death. My husband and his brother got into a big fight. Like true men, neither one would budge.

One Sunday his brother called, wanting to see my husband. They looked at their schedules and agreed to meet that Tuesday afternoon. Tuesday morning I got a call that his brother had died. My husband and I went to his apartment about an hour away, identified him and headed home.

While driving back my usually stoic husband started crying and crying repeating, "I wasn't able to say goodbye.. I wasn't able to say goodbye... I wasn't able to say goodbye to my brother."

I looked at him, feeling such sorrow and said, "But you said hello. He called you, he reached out.. you said hello. You accepted him for who he was, as your brother. You may not have been able to say goodbye, but he knew you didn't turn him away... you accepted him... he knew you loved him.. you said hello."

I cannot imagine the pain you're in, the thoughts and emotions swirling within. By reading your posts I see how you spent time together, shared those quiet smiles. Nothing is perfect. You said hello. You were open. You were real. You were together.

*hugs*

Jen~

So very, very sorry for your loss, what a tragedy. I can't think of any words to comfort you except that there are a lot of people here who really care for you and want to help in anyway possible. I wish I could give you my phone # so if you needed to talk you could. Know that he now knows how much you truly loved him and how you were working for your marriage.

PEACE BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY,,,

Kim

Jen-

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I don't know what to say other than that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jen,

I'm so terribly sorry to hear about this. You are in our thoughts.

Rob

Jen...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you right now.

Hi (((everyone))) thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers and thoughtful words you have posted here and on FB.

If you all could just reach out and hug your children and spouses no matter how alien or WAS they are. Don't let a moment go by that you don't express some sort of love for them all no matter how DAM they can be.

Love to all

We love you too, Jen! Thanks for taking the time to thank us; you must be exhausted and overwhelmed right now. Holding you in prayer!!

Amen - this is SO important

Jen, I'm so sorry to read about the terrible news. I am thinking of you and hope you find the comfort you will need at this horrid time.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Hello Jen,

I have followed your posts...

Please know I am thinking of you during this time of loss...

May you find comfort in the days ahead through the thoughts and prayers from your loved ones and friends...

Sanderika