Now if you can make it past that date..............
I hate that kind of pressure where you are new and you get dumped on. If she was a good supervisor, she would delegate to more than one person.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
It's spread out quite evenly. I'm just wondering why the heck I'm doing 2 others' jobs here when they're here and perfectly capable. I can do the girl's work that's out on maternity leave, but to do someone's work that's here is just nuts to me.
I'm in such a crumby mood. I think I'm going to email H and ask him to let me know when he's bringing D home tonight so I can just meet her at the door. I don't want to put on a happy face today at all for him.
While you are at it, tell him to bring you guys Chinese take-out or something. How about some Greek food? I'll make you some and bring it right over--I wish!
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I wish someone WOULD cook for me! I just don't feel like seeing him today. I'm not in a good mood and I don't fee like acting like I am. If he can just pull in the driveway and I'll be at the door, then it would be fine.
You know what--so what if your mood is less than happy. We all have our days and I think it is perfectly normal and acceptable for them to see we have our moments as well.
I don't mean to jump all over him but just low key when he comes over. The less you say, the more he will see you are not having a good day.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Okay, so here's what went down last night. H brought D home and I was outside with the dog during a Biggest Loser commercial break.
He dropped D off and we talked for a bit. I asked him if he was alright since he looked pretty darn tense. His jaw immediately tensed up and he told me he's fine. I asked him why he's so tense. He said he's just trying to figure things out and do the right thing. Then (I'm ducking the 2x4's!) I asked him if he would rather move home with us instead of moving in with his parents. He looked at me and told me that his first step towards anything for us is to move home with his parents for a while and then take things from there. For a while is what hit me hard. Ofcourse I don't want him home when he's still so back and forth, but I asked because I want him home. If that makes any sense! I told him to have a good night and he left. I didn't want to upset him/make him tense anymore.
He called on the way home to see if I was okay because he noticed I wasn't feeling well. I told him I was fine and just wanted him to be fine too. He got sooooooo angry, yelling at me, telling me "I'M TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT! I'M SEEING SOMEONE TO TALK THRU THINGS AND I'M MOVING WITH DAD TO GET AWAY FROM ALL THE PEOPLE AND THINGS I HAVE TO DEAL WITH! I'M MAKING STEPS TO DO RIGHT AND IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!!" I told him "I'm sorry you feel that way. You're right though. I want to see more movement towards our marriage, but I didn't say what your doing isn't good enough." I said "I just want to feel like you like me, that you're attracted to me. Some people I know have husbands gone too but they still show attraction to their wives and I'd like to feel that." He said "I'll let my counselor know what you just said what he says about that." Huh? Okay, whatever. So I stayed calm and just told him I had to go to make lunches and get D ready for bed. And we hung up.
Now, as I'm typing this, I get a tm from him saying "I put 100 into your account today." I didn't ask for money. He did this from him own kindness! PRAISE GOD! What a great thing for H to do! And my account just went negative today too since an autodebit for the YMCA went thru today.
Okay--the one thing these walk-aways do not want to hear is when are you moving home, etc. The less questions, I think the better off they are going thru this journey.
Just take it one day at a time, keep conversations very simple, and be kind always.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Trust me, I knew I was doing "wrong" while I was doing it. I just had a weak moment where I just wanted to know. I wanted to know his plans. At least I know now that he sees this move back to his parents as a move closer to the M as well.
I'm about to scream at the top of my lungs for the kindness he just did! Prayers are answered!
