My sitch and yours are very similar, with the notable exception of when my WAS started her EA with OM from her work, she wanted a divorce RIGHT NOW, regardless of the fact that we had a "perfect M". Really, we had it all.
I begged and pleaded for a month (before I found OM) and tried to get her to change her mind to no avail. Once I found out about the OM at her work, I stopped all that. I sent her packing home to mommy and daddy where she has lived for a month now. She cannot set foot in MY home without my permission, and our dynamic has changed BIG TIME. Sure, she is pissed at me for ruining her fantasy by not allowing her to run around with OM and still live in our gorgeous house, but the way I look at it, who cares? She is so foggy now I don't recognize her.
Now, this is Texas and she can (and will) D me inside 62 days without me ever signing a piece of paper, but thanks to posters like PDT and PhoenixD I have changed my attitude for the better. Sure, I still have bad days where I feel bad for myself, but at least now I am not groveling for a woman who was unfaithful. I am as dark as I can be with a 7 year old in the mix, and I am kind in all our communication, but like I would be to a stranger.
Self-respect and dignity are my new partners. When/If this OM decides that maybe she is not really his "soul mate", I *may* still be around and willing to talk , but it will be the strong, confident man I am now talking, not the sniveling, heartbroken wretch that I was on Bomb 0->30. He was not attractive...doormats never are.
You are pretty much stuck with what you have until this R with OM breaks up. Your stable long-term R cannot compete with the rush of chemicals and excitement present in her new R. She is lost in the fog and NOTHING you say can reach her. Stop trying.
These relationships rarely work out...the sad truth is he cheated WITH her, he will cheat ON her just as easily. There is no difference in the minds of people like this - My MC.
H: 38 W: 36 S: 8 S: 5 M: 16 Bomb: 8/25/08 OM: 9/21/08 EA (Possible PA) with co-worker since 5/08 (at least...) Sep: 9/21/08 D Filed 9/23/08 My Situation
