I'm saddened by your rough day and by the words of those dear sweet confused little ones. They'll understand in the end that you love them and did all you could for them and your family. There will be a day when they realize that they'd rather have a happy, healthy mommy than you trapped in a bad marriage just for the sake of having family around.
As for having someone to come home to and share the duties, I can completely understand. I only get my D on the weekends right now and because of that I have no time to do anything at all for me and work to get myself ahead. Now that I'm back in school, the weekend is my only real time to plan, grade, prep for teaching as well as do projects around the house here along w/ trying to GAL. I'm too spent at the end of each day to tackle these things, so I'm perpetually behind.
Like you, I wouldn't trade my baby for the world, but I do miss having someone there to share the load so we could both have our time to ourselves. Like you, I will have that chance to be w/ someone special again. This time it will be right...for both of us.
My D also told me I couldn't date b/c that would mean I'd get married. D said I couldn't date anyone but mommy. She said she told my STBX the same thing, so that is why I'm so concerned about STBX having her latest BF sleep over and be around D so much. It only confuses the little ones. I hope your STBX doesn't have his OW around your kids. They don't need more confusion.
Finally, I also agree w/ Ali in that maybe you should talk w/ STBX about spending more time w/ his children b/c they do love and miss him. He may not respond, but if you think your children would benefit from this, it wouldn't hurt for you to try to talk to him about it.
Don't worry, I remember he's a stubborn ass to talk to and you can get more deep, meaningful conversation out of the driveway sometimes, but it may be something to think about.
As for your D, take a look at her while she sleeps and I'll bet you'll see a lot of you in her. She sounds like a fighter...just like her mom.
not much to report. Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions. I have talked to my xH about spending more time with the kids, getting a place closer to us, etc etc, but he works 9-midnight everyday. And he works at a newspaper and cant easily take time off.. But I will again, you are right, it would do good to my little ones to see him more. I just dont think he can do it.
Today he called and asked again if I want him to take me to the airport (I am going to NY). I said again "NO thanks" . And he started this "I dont understand why not, I would gladly do it etc etc". I explained I am fine and will drive my car to the airport park it at the stuff parking area and I appreciate his offer but i will pass. He got mad and ended the phone call abruptly (does this word even exist, Jeff?). What the f@ck? I am packing tonight, YAY!!!! Love K
Oh my gosh !!! So how long are you going for and will you be Woogified when you are there !??
Thats so wierd about your ex... to put the phone down on you because you wouldnt agree. Perhaps he is convinced that you have a new guy!? I bet he goes to the airport and hides behind a tree and spies on you...
Yes he works hard, but could you sort of force him to cut his hours and spend more time with the kids?
Anyway, I hope you have a brilliant time! Are you working out there??
Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Ali, you make me laugh!!! Thanks!! I am staying for 5 days. Woogified? That's a new one...
Yes my xH is acting weird. I have never tried to make him believe there is someone else. I just dont share anything about my personal life with him anymore and I think he doesnt like that. K
Kalni, good for you for trying to reach out to STBX for your children. Hopefully he'll get it, but at least you can sleep at night knowing you've been trying everything for your little ones.
I'm sure the packing for NY has you excited! Send us pictures of your time w/ your Prince. I'm glad you will be able to meet up finally. We've been suggesting you two get a room for some time. What we didn't know was that room would be in NYC.
