Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Letting God Take Control Part 17

I have never heard my mother discuss this type of activity when she was hypnotized.

PH,
I know a bit about hypnosis because two of my friends are certified hypnotherapists and they have hypnotized me a couple of times, and it has definitely helped. I think a lot of people have beliefs about hypnosis that are incorrect; I know I did.

I would say that hypnosis is basically all about helping you get out of your own way. Also, it is my understanding that you cannot be hypnotized to do something that you believe to be fundamentally wrong (such as murder, or whatever), or that you don't really want to do (for example, if a person gets hypnotized to quit smoking, and they are doing it just because someone else wants them to quit, but they really haven't decided for themselves that they truly want to quit, it won't work for them). I know that sometimes when people get hypnotized on stage, they can be made to do things that are kind of embarrassing, but the hypnotist wouldn't be able to get them to do those things if they weren't okay with it on some level. The whole mental rejection thing with hypnosis is sort of like if a person swallows something that the body can't use, digest, or do anything with (like a coin or a marble, for example); the object just gets kicked out of the system after passing through, and the body continues about its business.

As for the belief thing, I would guess that it's possible that some hypnotists out there have some sort of philosophical baggage attached to their practice of hypnosis, but to my knowledge, it's a relatively belief-neutral arena at worst, and again, anything they might say, even while hypnotizing you, that you feel to be fundamentally wrong, your brain will just reject. I think if you deal with someone who is properly certified, you don't have too much to worry about. There are certain things that help hypnosis to work better, like making sure you phrase what you want positively (for example, "I feed my body healthy food" rather than "I don't eat junk food"), but the hypnotherapist will explain all of that. I know that when my friend hypnotized me for the first time, when she was still in training for her certification, we tried to work on (change) too many things about my life in one session, so only one of them really "took" at the time. She learned that it works better if you are more focused, which I'm sure she would have learned at some point during her training regardless.

I was amazed when I learned about all the things hypnosis works on, if a person is suitably motivated to change. I do believe hypnosis can be extremely helpful if you work with someone who knows what they are doing, and it is my impression that the worst-case scenario would be that you don't see any improvement. I doubt it would be harmful in any case. Also, I didn't know until I went through it myself, but when you go farther under hypnosis, it is the most incredibly relaxing experience!!

I learned a self-hypnosis technique from my friends the hypnotists, and it does help me--the first thing I noticed was that I no longer had any trouble falling asleep! (Although that failed me when I was recovering from the bomb, and I didn't sleep for the better part of two weeks...but up to that point, it worked like a charm!)

I'm certainly no expert, but I think hypnosis is a great thing (and no negative side effects, either!), and there are a lot of misconceptions about it, in my opinion.

I hope that helps!

Peace,
Dawn

PH thanks for your comments. I know nothing about hypnosis nor is it anything I am interested in learning about.

H talked with me yesterday about the dog and he said that I can't get a dog until the garage is cleaned out and purged. So everyday I am going to go through it little by little until it's done.

Hopefully this will motivate me to complete this daunting task. I am going to need all the help I can get.

PH, Glam ,SF and others.

I have read your comments and thoughts on my asking my W about communication. I haven't caught up to her yet. I need to give her some papers for school and most importantly her ring. Talking to my counselor he seems to think it would be ok to give her a card when I give her the other stuff. Just put the card in the papers in the file. I did find a card that says: "Thinking of You Today" on the cover and on the inside "Hope happy thoughts flutter around you today, bringing you comfort and reasons to smile." The card is a light blue with a few colorful flowers and butterflies. I was just going to write something supportive pertaining to school and maybe a couple other thoughts. I would like to put the love you at the end, but don't know, that might be pushing it. Not sure on the whole card thing yet, but that is why I'm writing about it here, I wanted to get a woman's point of view. Would a WAW or woman still want things like this to let them know that you still care? Please respond ladies, I would appreciate some input about this.

On another note I had prayed for a dream with my W in it. Well I got one, it was very good. It felt like as if we were awake together. The whole dream we were both making an effort, inter acting, and conversing in a manner that we were working on our marriage. I got really great feelings from her in this dream. I would say that this is the best dream I've had yet with her in it. I will pray and hope that I have more dreams with her. I do pray that God will work in her dreams.

PH, I agree with you, I think I need to get closer to God.

Sooners I think a card would be fine. I have just learned to follow my heart. The issue is to NOT have any expectations for whatever you do.

Meaning your w may not even say thank you or she may not even take the card and just give it back.

It depends on where your w is in this journey too. I do know that my h appreciated the encouraging e-mails from me even though he barely acknowledged them.

What is God telling you?

The card sounds fine. I gave my H cards and notes throughout the entire time he was in this crisis and I would sign them: love or i love you or love, your wife and one time i even signed it faithfully................

the actual cards were generic pretty much and he was not bothered or pressured by them. as a matter of fact, he has kept them all.

Sooners,
I agree with MWG and glam. A card is fine. I used to write my H cards whenever he helped me with something. In my card I would affirm him. But for the most part, I did not use "Love, PH" because I thought it would pressure him. The only times I used "Love, PH" was for his BD or Christmas/Thanksgiving.

BUT this last time, I did NOT use "Love..." in the BD card. I am sure he noticed that I didn't. In a previous post, I described how he called me to thank me for the card/text message. Not sure what his call meant. But since he hasn't initiated contact, all I can assume is that he has NOT changed his mind yet.

Nice dream you had.

Talking about dreams, I had one nice dream last night too. This time, my H was more in the backgorund. It was about me giving a nice present to my SIL's kids. It seemed as if the dream was about an improved R with my SIL (H's sister). It was as if she finally understood and accepted my warmth and kindness.

Hey Dawn,
Thanks for sharing your hypnotic experiences and thoughts on medical hypnosis. I am leaning towards it being OK for me. I actually did get it in a group setting for 4-5 years regularly. And apparently didn't get any undesired side effects, at least not that I am aware of.

Hey glam,
It's wonderful that your H agreed to get a dog. Happy garage cleaning. So will the dog live in the garage?

PH the dog will live in the house, but it's h's control thing like I am the man of the house and I will decide when and if you get a dog, but the garage has to be cleaned out first those are my rules.

Now my h can be a reall soffty, but it's his way of laying down the law in a cute way. Believe me I have got plenty from him after he lays down the law.

My h just like's that control, like nobody is going to tell me what to do. I am the man!

Make sense! He he he!