I went to the bank yesterday however they were unable to help me on this occasion. I phoned W to give her the bad news and to express my disappointment. W asked if it was her fault (bad credit) why the bank wouldn't advance us any more money I said no it was my fault and I feel bad. W then asked why should I blame myself. I told her that as the man of the house I should have already provided a good home for her and D6, I'm not sure what else I said but it provoked a reaction from W where she said "Look Lan them days for me are over, well and truly over I don't want to hear you talking like that (negativley), we're in this together". I then had to inturupt W to let her know I wasn't bringing up the past, I was just lamenting on the bad luck that always seems to follow us around.
Anyway between us we have planned a way forward, W is going to apply for a loan from a finance house, slightly higher interest rate than a bank but we're sure that we should get the money and W will pay it back with the money she gets from her second job. We also talked about how soon W can move out from her parents and back into our house even though it's far from completion.
Tonght we plan to rent a movie, have a couple of glasses of wine and just relax and take a break from our every day stresses.
Lan, I am so glad about the way your wife reacted. Things are looking good for you. I am happy you both seem to be on the same page regarding your future. Good Luck with money, you will figure it out. Love K
The bank have been good to me in the past but on this occasion the computer said No. However the bank manager did give me some advice so I'll discuss that with W and hope fully I can put that into action to raise some funds.
Barcelona has been pushed back to October as the orignal date was too close to FIL operation.Wedding anniversary is 13th Sept I don't think we'll be able to do an
Lan, We had "missed" all wed anniversaries as you know. No matter what, do a small special gesture that day. It doesnt matter if you have planned to celebrate later. Do something.
Re money. Anything you do from now on, IMO, should be common decisions with your wife. Things have changed. You dont need to carry that burden alone anymore. K
W and I have a plan to raise the extra capital. I need to organise it but the resonsibility for paying it back is on her.
I have no doubt that if the alien returned again in the future the debt would be dumped on me but for now we have an agreed plan.
I think I've stopped posting the positive things that W now does but heres one little example. W went to upgrade her cell phone to some fancy new model which is made in Pink or Black. She phones me to say she wants the pink one but she'll get the black one so when the contract is up in 18 months and she eligible for another upgrade, she can pass the old one to me. I just told her thanks but she should get the phone she really wants. It was just a small thing but I just thought it was nice that she was thinking about me.
Hey sweetie, well I am feeling good about how your wife has reacted to the news about the bank saying no to the extra help, but at the same time I have been concerned all along about you two getting in over your heads in financial debt. I know you have just come out of a bad stitch and I would hate to see you exchange it for a different one......that being finacial pressure. It can destroy a MR just as certain as an affair. So, please, Lan, be careful. I know you are trying to please your wife......and I think that she has finally seen some things that she needed to see. I just hope that it has not cost you two more than you could afford before she finally realized that it is not the great house and the "material" things that are so important, but the love between you and her.
Well, I know I'm sounding like a mama, but I can't help it. I know what pressure from a lot of debt can do to a couple and I don't want that to happen to you. At least, she is seeing this as the two of you being in it together. I don't know at what point you are on the house, but is it at a place that could be put on "hold" for a while until some of it is paid off......or does it have to be all completed now?
Well, take care. You know I am always interested about what is going on in your life......and I am care a lot.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
The on going work on the house needs to be completed now or the house won't be liveable, if it's completed it will need to be paid for now. W will take the responsibility of paying back the extra money raised as she now works 2 jobs. Times ahead will be tough but not impossible, so once everything is completed we just focus on paing things back and the two of us living life together.
Thank you all for your inputs,its very much appieciated.
Hey Lan. Great comment from W, I cannot even imagine what made her think that re the phone, to me that is incredible. She is getting a new phone and all the while thinking about Lan...
Agree with Sandi tho, be careful. Debt is not good. (Not sure my W realises that either as we will go from comfortable, to both struggling by D !!! )
