hi Lee! I havent stopped by in a while and what has happened?? I was a bit worried by your new thread title! The only thing I would add is why is it she wants a baby? For me it was wanting to be a mother and work less. Is she unhappy with her job? May be a long shot and I apologize if I am rehashing. I also think you could communicate more with her- if you think she could get off the couch to say hello, then tell her that that bothers you and makes you feel unappreciated or whatever. Would this be an improvement or not? My H and I were famous for not vocalizing what we felt or wanted and used the old silent treatment to get to the place we are now unfortunately. I missed ya! Shay
Well it seems as when I am blunt and to the point about my feelings I get absolutly nothing in return. If I do get something back normally it is well fine maybe it is best if we don't betogether any more so some thing like that. Then I would say well lets try and get some help. Then she would say somthing to the effect of why its not going to do any good we have been doing this for 6 years and we can fix it so.
Just the same dumb argument. Which is basically what happened the other day. So Im going back into act as if mode and see where that takes me. Not talking about my feelings and such.
I would think that she would think that she was lucky to have a guy who is willing to talk to her about her feelings and mine. I dont think she sees it that way. Then again maybe that is not correct maybe she just wants someone around that is there but not really there you know. Im really trying to sort that out.
About the baby thing im not sure really what the reasoning is for her.
Me TOO Jeannine!! Lee, I was wondering when she was on the couch and you wanted a kiss hello you didn't just go over there and get yourself one? My H and I did this too, he would be mad I wasn't rushing to the door to great him, and I would be mad too, blah, blah, blah. Why not cherish her a bit, act like she is the most fabulous thing in the world, walk over there, lean over and kiss her and say HELLO. Without any expectation of anything in return. NOW, would that be a 180? Never let her see you peeved. Never let her think you aren't getting enough. But, not pursue the intimacy. Everything but, like that is off limits. You know everyone has told me to move on, it might make him more interested. Might work for you too, act as if you are okay without it. What do you think?
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
That is exactly what I am doing. Im still doing loving things and just not making comments about it, so on so forth just trying to be a little touchy feely but not to the exteme. I am hugging her and kissing her but more like a friend than a husband. If she is walking around or doing some that is reaveling im not saying hey you want to go up stairs. Pretty much I am ignoring intamicy unless she iniates it.
Well, the weekend went pretty well, friday night W and I went out to the clubs. She got drunk and was really flirty and stuff. So yes we were intimate that night. I was not the one that pushed it though. Not much happened on Saturday, just kind of hung out and did nothing. On sunday things went well, we went to my parents and had some dinner and such. Before I went to bed I screwed up and asked for intimacy and she turned me down. I just acted as if it didn't bother me then just went to bed.
What I don't get is how different a person my W is when she is drunk. It actually kind of bothers me that she is flirty and all kind stuff. Why can't she be a little more like that with out needing to drink! Im still sticking to my 180 to see what will come of it. It will be very hard for me because I know if I don't bring it up that she won't. Unless of course she is drunk. Anyway that is how my weekend went I hope everyones week end went well.
Lee - it may be that she's more receptive when she drinks because she can "let go" - the rest of the time, she has too many "mom" things on her mind. Or maybe it wasn't the drinking, but you taking her out and having fun with her, making her feel valued and desirable. So why not only approach her for sex after a fun date? (This of course means putting a lot more energy into "dating" your wife).
