Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy For the Guy with Kids and a WW 12

I could have written all that, too!!! I don't think I have hope anymore, but I'm thinking D is for the best anyway (well for me I don't think it's ever good for the kids).

H gets less attractive each week, as he continues to be the way he is and maybe my eyes are just opening more too. I think whatever is supposed to happen will happen, and for me it will be D, and that's not necessarily a bad thing like I once thought!!! Karen

Time will tell. Sometimes people change, though. Get to know each other again.

Like g said, slow and easy. Remember how wound up you were to begin with?

The pheremones will wreck havoc on YOU !.. When will you understand that this entire trip is yours ? Friggin band aid..

Tom

Who, me? Yeah, people do change and I guess if they change sometimes for the worst, they could change for the better. I guess I have come to think of it. But I just think you can't live life waiting for that or even hoping for it much, just plan on living a great life with the kids and focusing on that. Karen

karen, I wonder if the way I feel is me just going through the detaching still. My going dark. My getting a life. The monkey wrench was the alphabet girls. I never would have guessed.

I don't see my wife in the same light, but I still "see" her.

But then I ask myself if I really want this broken person.

Yeah, they are broken. I think no, but if they really wanted to R and made changes to fix what is broken in them, MC or IC, and you know all the things Puppy suggests, then maybe. I guess it would depend on how much they are really serious about fixing their brokenness??? Karen

AT, what am I doing wrong?

Looking at that, I think he said that to Kat if you look at it?. Personally, since you seem to be in a kind of place like me, detached and good PMA, I think you are doing great!!! Karen

The problem is, when and IF the wife ever gets there, will I still want it. In my heart.

I'm not divorced yet. Until then, I have to keep some hope. I don't know the real reason she hasn't done it yet. Could be cost, but she knows she can do papers herself. Could be uncertainty. Could be guilt. I have no idea.

But until she does. We're still married. How can I truly start to heal? How can I move on? How can I do anything? When the D comes, then the process begins, I think.

Today, I had to email her. Two of her automatic payments were hitting the joint account today. She didn't respond, so after lunch I went to go deposit money to save on the NSF fees. Once I got there, I changed my mind. Her responsibility, not mine. If there is fees, her problem. I came back to work. Parking the car, she finally calls. She asks what's up. I politely tell her about the payments. She asks which ones and I tell her. I give her the amounts and the total. She cheerfully(sounded very fake) says she'll take care of it. Will go make a deposit right now. I say ok. Just wanted to tell her. Bye.

I thought I did pretty good. I don't care if OM put the money in. Not my issue. I sent another email to her about me paying the sitter for D6 on Friday, since she paid last time. I asked if she would take a check and for her to have a good one.

I got back, "She prefers cash". Three words?

I got my girlies home and made dinner and did homework. I praised D6 because I emailed her teacher today to see how she was doing and she is doing very well. There is a parent night on Thursday. While D11 was in the shower, I noticed a missed call at about 8:15 on my phone. Wife called and left a message.
"Just wanted to let the girls know that I got home.(sniff sniff) Have them call me after their showers(sniff). Bye."

Maybe she got kats cold. Or crying. After D11's shower, I let them hear the VM and they call their mom. D11 asks why she sounded funny. Sick or crying. Sounded like she said neither. They talked and told each other they miss each other. She says she'll call in the morning again. She called this morning too.

I FEEL good. I do believe he was refering to me. He usually does like to give me a good whack.