Yes, we were separated for about 2 1/2 years and those feelings you have are totally normal.
It was very hard to get those feelings back.
I actually told my Husband ILYBNILWY......
He said we would work on it together, and he has made leaps and bounds.....and he has been home now for almost 18 months and we are almost normal.
Short, this is why piecing is so damn difficult.
It is harder when they come home because there is nowhere to hide.
You actually have to face them, and see them daily each and every day.
You have to look them in the face and see the person that hurt you and betrayed you.
You have to forgive them for what they have done.
You have to let the past go.
I loved my Husband, I always have, even when he was at his worst.
But, I did not have those "in love" feelings anymore.
At times the only feelings I had were pity for him, and what he had become.
At other times I had alot of compassion for him, as I knew how hard things must have been for him inside his head.
But MLC or not, he had crossed the line and had done things that were so totally outrageous and disrespectful that those "in love" feelings were pretty much gone.
I still prayed daily for him to come home because I knew it was the "right" thing, and ultimately I wanted to be right with God.
But it is a personal decision and there should be no pressure.
Only you know what you can handle. Nobody else has to walk in your shoes.
The feelings can come back, but only if you allow them to.
((((((((hugs)))))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Not only that but you become so used to living on your own with the kids and you have to put up with his moods, etc. It is a lot of work and I base that on what I have read here and the times my H did come home.
This is much harder than raising kids, that's for sure.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I don't know if I will be so blessed as you to have my H back in my life. He has finally moved in with OW after living next door for a year. He still calls me to say he loves me (but as a friend) and wants me in his life. (note.. his life)
I still miss him and yes, love him. Funny I can forgive what he has done, but I don't like who he is when he is with OW. I find it hard to talk to him as he acts so differently, and not in a good way. So mostly I am dark.
We are part way through the divorce. I stopped helping at this point, but I may soon have to push for a settlement to be financially sound.
I think the not in love feeling is due to all the pain I suffered. Sometimes I find it easier to push him out of my mind to feel better. Also being alone gets easier and I begin to forget what it is like to be married.
For me it is the not knowing that gets me. If he just said I'll be home next year, I would just go on and live my life. If he was actively divorcing me I would just accept it and get on. But all this limbo land stuff makes me more upset than the affair.
It's time for healing time to move on It's time to fix what's been broken too long Time to make right what has been wrong It's time to find my way to where I belong There's a wave that's crashing over me And all I can do is surrender
(Chorus) Whatever You're doing inside of me It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace It's hard to surrender to what I can't see but I'm giving in to something Heavenly
Time for a milestone Time to begin again Reevaluate who I really am Am I doing everything to follow Your will Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills So show me what it is You want from me I give everything I surrender... To...
(Chorus)
Time to face up Clean this old house Time to breathe in and let everything out That I've wanted to say for so many years Time to release all my held back tears
Whatever You're doing inside of me It feels like chaos but I believe You're up to something bigger than me Larger than life something Heavenly
Whatever You're doing inside of me It feels like chaos but now I can see This *is* something bigger than me Larger than life something Heavenly Something Heavenly
It's time to face up Clean this old house Time *to* breathe in and let everything out
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I listen to this song everyday on my christian radio station... but until now I never really listened to the words... it is so beautiful and encouraging... thank you Brandnewday..I was just now crying and I saw this on your thread ... The Lord sent this by way of you... God bless you..
God answers prayer in one of three ways: "yes," "no," or "yes, but not yet." This last reply seems to be the most dreaded sometimes even more than an outright "no." However, patience is an important biblical principle, which Scripture stresses repeatedly in stories, Psalms, and epistles.
Waiting on the Lord to unlock a door is always wiser than attempting to pry it open ourselves, even when the delay has been long. After God promised him a son (Gen. 12:2), Abraham lived for 25 years with an answer of "not yet." After that quarter-century, the answer finally became "yes." But meanwhile, Abraham and Sarah hatched their own plan to get an heir--Sarah's servant Hagar bore Ishmael.
The couple may have convinced themselves they were "helping" God live up to His prophecy, but really they were disobeying. The consequences were disastrous. Bitterness and blame affected every member of the family (Gen. 16:4-6; 21:9-10). In addition, Ishmael's people lived in enmity with their neighbors, and that hostility persists in the Middle East today (Gen. 16:11-12; 25:18).
Our patience gives God time to prepare the opportunity on the other side of a closed door. Even if we can force our way by manipulating circumstances, we will not be happy with what we find there. No one in Abraham's camp was satisfied with the situation they created! We have contentment and joy only when we access God's will at the very moment He ordained. The blessings we find on the other side of an open door are well worth the wait.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
