You know Lin, You are right, but Im doing the best I can and what feels right for me. Its hard to just cut him off completely. Especially since I stayed on him for so long because he didnt call me or talk as much...(those days were in the beginning), so now if I dont talk to him, he throws it in my face almost, like I fussed at him for not talking, and Now I wont talk. Sometimes I just dont know what to do, but I think this is a big change for me that i dont call and text him about anything. I only answer his texts and they are short and to the point.
Im trying, I really am.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Kissak, I've left H alone as well for yesterday and today and look at him.....he emailed me, called my cell 1 1/2 hours after emailing and then called my desk 15 min after that. So I guess leaving them alone does make them wonder a bit?
Yes I believe it does make them wonder. Oh well, time they do wonder for a change.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Try not to take it personally when he gets on you for not talking to him. You have to do what is best for you. If you don't look out for yourself, who will? As long as you keep trying that is all anyone can ask or hope for. Make this your life your way. {kinda like burger king. }
*hugs* ~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
Im trying to do what is best for me, trust me!! Im glad you stopped by to say hi!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
H has now kept this email going too and I'm keeping it about D. Trying not to think so happily about it, but it's hard when we're the ones that have been trying to make this happen and have to learn to let go.
H told me this evening when getting the kids that the OW had dumped him again. All I could say was "arent you glad you didnt move in with her?" He said yes. I asked him what he was going to do about finding a roomie...he said he didnt know and that he was going to have to move out. He couldnt afford it. I asked what he was gonna do. He said either one of 2 things....either move in with his parents....
Or move back home with me
Right.
I looked at him and said "your not moving back home with me. you cant move back home. It wont work and I am not going to go through all that again."
He said, "well, I didnt mean right now"
I said, Im sorry, but NO!!
I think he was in shock that I said that
But I dont care. He will not move back home unless God comes down to earth and tells me its ok...I dont see that happening!!
He is spinning...big time!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I didn't mean to sound harsh to you...I just worry that you are still giving him the attention that he wants/needs and that sucks energy from you...and allows him to think he still "has you" when he is ready...
BUT GOOD FOR YOU on telling him NO...now the hard part might come when he is living in his truck in the dead of winter...remember he has parents and "friends"...you don't have to rescue him...he hasn't cared about how you or the kids have felt through this so don't give him those caring feelings...it is all about reciprocation...he made his bed now he can sleep in it even if it is in his truck!
Your right Lin, and I didnt think you were harsh. I do believe he still thinks he has me. But I think I gave him a shock when I told him he couldnt move back home.
Im sure he thinks he can be nice enough to weasel his way back. But honestly I think after a few days of thinking and coming out of the shock of the OW letting him go again....I believe he will change his mind and he will be back to trying to get her back....although I dont know about the OW this time. He said she told him the feelings arent the same anymore. So, maybe with time she will go away. I dont know....but what I do know is that he wont be moving back home.
I will stand my ground on that and he WILL just have to sleep in his truck. Although I dont think that will happen. His parents will help him and let him stay with them, but they wont make it easy on him and I dont think it will last long. He cant stand to be around his stepmother for too long.
I just want my kids to be safe when they are with him. So, I dont know what he is going to do.
Its just time he take a real look at where he is and how he got there. Time to grow up.
Last edited by kissak; 09/10/0812:02 PM.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
}
H told me this evening when getting the kids that the OW had dumped him again. All I could say was "arent you glad you didnt move in with her?" He said yes. I asked him what he was going to do about finding a roomie...he said he didnt know and that he was going to have to move out. He couldnt afford it. I asked what he was gonna do. He said either one of 2 things....either move in with his parents....
