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Hang in there Frank.

Each and every day she shows you the woman she REALLY is.

Is that what you want? She is actually doing you a favor showing you her true self. Too bad she is the mother of your kids.

This is all part of the trial we are in. Why we are here, we cannot say right now.

But I do know there is something better ahead for us.

Quote:
I just don't know how she manages to stay locked in this stage for so long...

She's either very, very naive or very, very scared.

I disagree that she is naive or scared. This is her defensive posture: denial and anger. Anything to deflect responsiblity. I got the same thing: it was all my fault. All of it.

Quote:
Her sense of entitlement is also bewildering.

Why do you say this Amy? Her sense of entitlement is a given. I hate to say it but FIB enabled that. He treated her like a queen. He was the one at the operating room working overtime while she was spending money on $200 jeans. He took care of the money, the kids, the house. Everything.

Why should she feel anything but entitled now? Entitled is her middle name and it defines her life.

And her father enabled her the most.

What I say is not a put down of FIB. Just the opposite - he did everything for her but she took it for granted rather than realizing that marriage is a partnership and partners help each other.

But I really cannot trash her either. She lived entitled for over 40 years. She does not know any better.

I was in the same situation. All I find bewildering is why I married my Ex in the first place and why FIB married his.

She is a brat. She can help that, but she has to see it first. And she does not.

FIB and I will know better next time not to play father to a spoiled brat.

In the mean time, hang in Frank. It will get better but we need to hit bottom first - and bounce at the bottom a few times at that.

Strength and Honor.


Jeff

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I suppose I just can't wrap my mind around that kind of a sense of entitlement, Jeff223.

I mean, I spent some time acting that way myself but because it was a symptom of my MLC, as opposed to a deeply ingrained character flaw, when the blinders came off, so did the arrogant attitude.

As for naivete or fear, I'll stand by that and lean towards naivete.

The woman simply doesn't have a clue what it's like in the real world.

Which is precisely why she ought to end up in it.



Peace,

AmyC

Last edited by AmyC; 09/08/08 02:18 PM.
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Thinking of you.... \:\)
I am so sorry to hear you are going thru this.
Take care and God bless...
~Ali

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Finally...after all this time...our wedding photos are removed from her dresser.

The final statement. I filed, so, why does it still hurt? I will go forward and not say anything or show this.

That ounce of whatever...that keeps our pinky toe in the door..must be withdrawn. Why does it still hurt?
FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
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Originally Posted By: AmyC

The woman simply doesn't have a clue what it's like in the real world.

Which is precisely why she ought to end up in it.
She won't though. She'll end up with a sweet spousal support agreement and all the freedom she wants. That's what the courts do to men who work hard and marry women who are 'entitled'.

Seen it too many times. My friend Ken has lost everything to a bratty ex wife who works the system.

Remember CherishHer? Same thing. His ex W wants everything and is bleeding him dry.


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Originally Posted By: faithisbelieving
Why does it still hurt?


Because we have the ability to truly love someone unconditionally.

Cherish that ability my friend. In todays world that seems to be lacking in a lot of people.

Next time she does the eyes rolling or anything mean, tell her "W, you are a mean person." Truth darts.


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Originally Posted By: frank_D
Originally Posted By: AmyC

The woman simply doesn't have a clue what it's like in the real world.

Which is precisely why she ought to end up in it.
She won't though. She'll end up with a sweet spousal support agreement and all the freedom she wants. That's what the courts do to men who work hard and marry women who are 'entitled'.

Seen it too many times. My friend Ken has lost everything to a bratty ex wife who works the system.

Remember CherishHer? Same thing. His ex W wants everything and is bleeding him dry.



I know, Frank.

I see it here at work every day.

I just hate women like that.

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