I like how you approached her. You were warm and loving, but also seemed to give space. You are letting her know she has a place with you if she wants it. And you gave her no pressure. You are allowing her the space to think things over. Sounds good. Stay positive. High five to you!!!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
try to avoid those subjects at all costs. fear of rejection. i was thinking along of the lines of
"you know I care about you more than anything; I would really like to raise the baby together, regardless of our status"
BC
Just a thought, but if you are fearing rejection, this is possibly setting you up for a big one... The last phrase says you are ok with whatever happens - is this really the message you want to pass on?
I know you are reeling right now, so please do not take the comments as a slam - just don't want you to set yourself up for a big fall.
Take care.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
How about "I understand you are hurting. I want you to know that this hasn't changed what I want to do / how I feel about things."
It's the "regardless of our status" part that I am concerned about. Some may also say the rest is pursuing, but your sitch is unique, so maybe appropriate. Let the vets comment on that.
Sorry BC, don't have all the answers - as you can see in my sitch, I am learning daily (or trying to). Just hate to see you set yourself up at all for a nosedive.
Take Care
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Since OM left and they had a falling out over the pregnancy she has done a 180 in terms of how she acts around me. I can almost guarantee she still wants a divorce though. No way to tell without bringing it up and getting shot down. Maybe I should wait a bit ?
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love