I had a good weekend thanks, Saturday I was out in the garden doing some weeding and enjoying a rare glimpse of summer weather and then Sunday I met up with a friend in the afternoon and then One Day and I went to the Proms to see the Verdi Requiem which was pretty spectacular. I sang it at college too so I know it pretty back to front. It was also nice to chat about DBing to someone in person as I don't get any opportunities these days to talk to anyone face-to-face who even has a vague understanding. Also, Lisa is lovely and lots of fun so that helps too
I have just booked my holiday to Portugal at the end of October so am pretty pleased about that. I am going with my BF to a place where I went last year (I don't normally like going somewhere twice but for a beach/ sun holiday I thought I might as well go somewhere I know is nice and it is cheap and very easy). It was when I got back from that holiday last year that h dropped the first bomb and left though, so I am not sure how I will feel about that...
I am feeling a bit flat today and yesterday as I have no plan and not sure of what to do next. Lisa and I talked about building on the mentoring conversation H and I had and maybe sending him some mentoring info through and maybe an amusing clip from the office but I am still thinking on that. He hasn't been in touch and I am so wary of pursuing. We have no excuse to be in contact at the moment and, although I know there doesn't have to be contact, I would really like to somehow build on the positivity of last Wednesday but I am not sure how without pursuing. He hasn't been in touch at all.
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling down. The only thing that tends to work for me when I'm feeling this way, and this might just be me, is writing in my journal. I find this tends to give me real clarity for those moments, and sometimes helps me to come up with things that I should/shouldn't be doing. It's like I am getting answers, and some may call it divine, or just your subconscious or what have you, but it saves me when I'm incredibly low. Problem is you can't really do it at work...
Great that you have a holiday booked. The end of October is a long way away yet, so things might look different with your H by then, right? Maybe you will go away with something more positive.
So it's been just under a week since you had contact with your H? What is the most time that has gone between periods of contact for you 2? Does he always reach out if you go dim?
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
I think what it is for me is that I feel like I have nothing to write about or nothing to focus on. No reason at the moment (if you see what I mean). Before (pre DBing) it was about trying to meet up so we could spend time together and trying to sort him out. After the second bomb it was discovering this place and working on DBing techniques and trying to sort me out. Then he made contact about the house and it was getting myself strong to face that and then the finances. I have no 'project' at the moment which makes me feel flat and hopeless.
It has been no more than a week in the past I think of no contact. I feel like he has no reason to reach out at the moment. Other than me emailing him in a few days to tell him that my money has gone into the account (as for the first time he extended that courtesy to me so I want to reciprocate) there is nothing else I can see to do that won't be pursuing. Maybe I have to accept doing nothing for the moment... it is just a bummer as I got a taste of what I wish it could be last Wednesday.
You know I might do some brain-storming when I get home, that is a good idea - only 2 1/2 hours left to go till 5pm.
Just think of it as more chance to do things for yourself. remember that you are not changing him, you are just being there for when he is ready to change or has changed. so there is no need to watch the pot boil, just check in on it every now and again. its way easier to say then do but little brakes of communication is not a bad thing. I know its hard on you but whose to say it does not make him miss you more even if he won't admit it.
Portugal sounds amazing, I can't wait to hear all about it.
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
JWS, I think you just made me smile for the first time today. That is exactly what I am doing! Watching the pot boil, or maybe paint drying because of the pace that it is going
My pleasure. If I'm going to be beating my head against the walls as I ping back and forth, the least that I can do is to support my friends and bring cheer when I can
OK, I have to admit that http://www.icanhascheezburger.com is one of those sights that I have saved on my bookmarks toolbar. My current favorite is this panda:
excellent!