I hope that you two have a wonderfull time in Hawaii!!!
Maybe it would have been a good idea that you slept in the bed anyway but, that is a personal choice that only you can make.
Addiction is a horrible thing to overcome and she has to be really proactive in wanting to quit before anything will work. Me Im'e addicted to munching on food (thus gaining weight back) to make my hurt lessen but I realize that it is only temporary and that it needs to stop. Right now easier said than done though. Only I can decide to stop the cycle.
Have fun CL!!!!!!
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Jak and Aud, Thanks. I'm expecting to have a wonderful time.
I pulled out my copy of "Helping a Loved One Live Smoke-Free." It reminded me that most smokers want to quit, and that I need to be patient and supportive. Quitting smoking is a long process.
One of my old habits is to be angry about her smoking addiction, which filters into the R in various ways. I need to work on my negative thinking and emotions.
I just want her to be healthy. I have to remember that dancing is giving her an outlet to be healthy--exercise, social connection, joy, mental stimulation, skill development. Ex-smokers have to learn to do more than simply quit smoking, they must learn to live healthier lives, and to connect with healthy people. She's in the process of doing that.
She's going in the right direction. We both are.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Jak, I have a moment to update from my hotel in Waikiki, while my W is down at the pool.
The vacation is going very well. We've spent two days at the beach, and today touring the Pearl Harbor memorial (very sad, and a good history lesson). We had an authentic Japanese meal. Today was walking tour day in Honolulu, visiting Chinatown, where my W had a massage, and we ate authentic Filipino food.
Hawaii seems to be a vacation destination for the Japanese, as we feel like the minority here, which is fun.
My W bought a digital, user friendly camera before the trip, so I've been busy taking pictures of sunsets, and mountains, and beach scenes.
My W says that I'm her favorite travel companion. I'm feeling more connected to her.
My W said that she was hoping that this trip would be a catalyst for her to make some healthy changes. It seems like there's this healthy person trying to come out.
We'll be leaving the city life for a smaller island on Wednesday. I think we planned this trip well--a balance of city life and remote beach, and ten days seems like the right amount of time.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Matilda, My W and I both agree that this was our best trip together ever. We do travel well together.
We spent a lot of time sitting on the beach. We went snorkeling several times, spending time with sea turtles. We ventured into Honolulu, particularly Chinatown, and found a food market to try foods from the eastern part of the world. We went dancing twice, and found a salsa club, with a small community like ours. We rented a convertible, and drove it around Maui, with the beautiful mountains and ocean scenery. We visited the Pearl Harbor site.
It wasn't perfect. Most of the fussing occurred during the transition parts--needing to be on-time for flights, and finding hotels.
i'M hoping that we can take a vacation together at least every six months (she would want this too). I noticed that the more connection we had, the greater desire I had for intimacy.
For me, there has to be connection, in order to pursue intimacy. I can't (or won't) pursue intimacy if we're functioning as roommates.
I will continue to cultivate a happy mind and lifestyle, and connection in the M.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
