Thought I'd post here as it seems that as I had feared, once I had come to terms with the 'end of my M' part of this, the infidelity part would rear it's head. It only seems to have dawned on me in the past week, now we've had our holiday and I know for certain that we are over.
The last time we ML, H said to me "This is how I like to do it", and manoeuvered us into a position that we have never done before. I just find his comment really freaky (it was before any of the disclosures), not this is how I would like to do it, or can we do it this way, but this is how I like to do it (with other people).
If I'd have been more on the ball I would have asked him what he meant. It's the closest he came to telling me during our R.
Am using the 'stop' sign in my head about current g/f, and am trying to think of him as an addict - ie he's weak and not in control. It is horrible though.
Me:36 M:16 D final: 08/09 Ds:10&5 Ss:8&3 Bomb 3xPA 200 sexual encounters 15/06/08
Posting here as well as my usual thread because maybe some of you guys who have been cheated on have a special understanding.
Feel wretched. I can't bear to hear anything about H's new R. Don't want to see his (their!) new flat, don't want to hear her name, don't want to hear about the things they are planning. H seems to tell me things with no real understading that it will actually hurt me.
I've never been in this place before, where I can't handle H's behaviour. I feel weak and pathetic. I loved him for so long and was so faithful to him, how could he do it to me?
Well, I know how really - he's not a well man. I feel completely undone.
Me:36 M:16 D final: 08/09 Ds:10&5 Ss:8&3 Bomb 3xPA 200 sexual encounters 15/06/08
