Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Walk-Away-Spouse WAW: Watching & Waiting

Bridge,

I had a big response written out for you and then my computer twitched and I lost it all!

I would assume you have read: "men are from mars...". I found that book very interesting. Your husband might too.

Your H is a workaholic. Some of us idiots see "providing" as an ultimate sign of love. For us, it means (and I do hope this of your husband and he is not selfish and only looks to provide for his extras in life):

1-I want to give you the extras you deserve
2-I want to make the house a home
3-I WANT YOU TO BE PROUD OF ME
4-I want you to know you are the drive behind my success and the reason I push so hard.

At least that is what it means to me.

I did this when I bought a house I didn't want. Remodelled it and worked 20 hrs a day to do it. I ended up making the person I was pushing so hard for feel neglected. No matter how I tried to explain it to her that she was what was important in it all, she never seemed to get it. Only felt her wants and needs were unimportant. And she has moved on. She tells me now she understands but she is beyond it.


That is what I get from that statemnet.

Bridge,

But he has to want to make changes too. Understand that is not what you need. He can feel that way (the way I explained) but he also has to want to see your side (obviously)

Bridge,

Sorry the car ride home was so stressful. Why do you think things go well in CC and suck the rest of the time? Do you think he is just going through the motions in C or is it something else.

Going to hit ball afterwards was a good idea. I hope the roses were nice.

Take care,

Tim

Hi all,
I'm taking my son to college tomorrow, 10 hours away from home. He is ready to go, physically, emotionally, mentally. I'm getting there. I think I'm hurting because I'm going to miss him so much. He has been good for me to have around here this year.

He is so sweet too, one of his good friends (not best but good) is moved into town just a few blocks away from my house, & is working while he goes to school part time.

S18 gave him my name/phone number & vice versa, just in case I needed an extra set of hands around the house to move things, help with something, etc. Him taking care of me for a change... that felt so good!

Prayers for us please

1- for safe travel the next few days
2- for strength, courage & wisdom for him while he grows into the man God has meant for him to become.
3- for comfort & peace for me as I leave my "baby" (even though he's the oldest) 10 hours away from home.

thanks for all the posting today... your support means the world.

Peace & hugs
Bridge

That would be interesting. Maybe you should call it B*tch-*ss lessons. Me being smart I'll just jump back and call it assertiveness lessons. That thread would probably be really interesting a couple days a month. You all could get Team Cookie shirts. Gotta run!

Bridge, I can do this. Been there, its not easy.

Thanks Coach
Much appreciated.

Bridge

Hi, I hope you're there safe & sound ! My heart goes out to you. I don't even want to think about when my oldest leaves.

Hey, stop answering the phone during the night !! Tell him you're sleeping (self care) & if he wants to talk, do it when you're awake. You need your rest, Dr. (Cookies) orders.

be safe

HI BS, SM, And HFC,

I posted this question to HFC but have read Bridge and Smarts threads too. I think your info is invaluable (sp). I would like to hear what your opinions are to this questions please.


If after a long time of pursuing, when the LB finally went no contact, did you feel more relieved at first or did the curiosity kick in right away?

What was the transition like for you?

Not, we didn't exactly go no contact, we were always in the same house, but, I was relieved. He was suffocating me. I finally felt like I had some breathing space.

take care